Stealing Personal Info Comic Strips - Page 2

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209 Results for Stealing Personal Info

View 11 - 20 results for stealing personal info comic strips. Discover the best "Stealing Personal Info" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #crimes, #gadgets, #inventions, #world class invenotr, #invented prodcuts, #key memeber, #fired for stealing, #stuff to steal, #high five, #hits boss

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Boss: I hired a world-class inventor. Meet Toby. When he worked for our competitor, he invented their coolest product. Toby: I was just a member of a team. Boss: A key member! Toby: Until they fired me for stealing. Wally: You came to the right place. We have tons of stuff to steal and no one ever gets caught! Toby: Give me a high five with a boss head in the middle! Noise: SLAP! Toby: That's the only thing I ever invented. Wally: Have you seen our storage closet?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #being a jerk, #big picture, #breaking up tasks, #emotionally gutted, #engineer, #engineers, #individual tasks, #losing will to live, #meetings, #personal life, #project plan, #rational plan, #sense of purpose, #engineering

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Boss: Any comments on the project plan? Dilbert: When you consider all of the tasks together, they form a rational plan. But our individual tasks are so far removed from the big picture that they are stripped of meaning. You've managed to remove all sense of purpose from my life. On an intellectual level, I understand the benefits of breaking tasks into small chunks. But you've left me emotionally gutted. As I read your plan, I'm losing my will to live. Boss: Can't you find meaning in your personal life? Tina: He's an engineer. Dilbert: Now you're just being a jerk.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #employee parking, #inconvenience, #by design, #personal errands, #intention suffering

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Dilbert: The employee parking situation is terrible. I had to park a mile away. Catbert: That's by design. The inconvenience removes your temptation to run personal errands during the day. Dilbert: You're intentionally making my life more difficult? Catbert: What do you think management is?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #embarrass your compnay, #etiquette & ethics, #local debauchery, #personal behavior, #pollute ground water, #pollution, #reflect poorly, #elbonia

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Wally: Where can I go to enjoy some of the local debauchery? Elbonian: Aren't you worried that your personal behavior will reflect poorly on your company? Wally: How can I embarrass a company that plans to pollute your groundwater? Elbonian: Say what? Wally in Elbonia

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #department, #secretary, #personal, #phone, #calls, #traditional, #costume, #countries, #calling, #cultural appropriation

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The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'm putting you in charge of the department secretary." The Boss continues, "See if you can get him to cut down on the personal calls." The secretary sits at his desk wearing a sombrero and holding maracas. Dilbert says, ". . . Just be a little more discreet . . . For example, try NOT wearing the traditional costume of the countries you're calling."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #access, #news, #personal, #computer, #wrong, #paper, #article, #newspaper, #picture

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Dilbert says to Wally, "I just read that in a few years you will be able to access all of the news and information of the world from your personal computer." Dilbert continues, "You probably saw the same article in today's paper." Wally replies, "I don't read a paper." Dilbert thinks as he walks away, "What's wrong with this picture?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #minute, #pen, #farewell, #been, #true, #wind, #love, #you, #personal, #relationship, #brenda

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Wally enters his cubicle and asks, "May I borrow your pen for a minute?" Dilbert says to his pen, "Farewell, little friend. You have always been true. May the wind be at your back. I . . . I . . . Love you . . ." Wally hands the pen back to Dilbert and says, "Uh . . . Could I borrow one which you've had less of a personal relationship with?" Dilbert asks, "How about Brenda?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #nardo, #old country, #personal space, #hands, #pockets

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Wally says to Dilbert, "Uh-oh, Nardo is coming. I'm out of here." Nardo and Dilbert stand nose-to-nose. Dilbert says, "Uh, hi, Nardo." Nardo says, "In the old country we did not have what you call personal space." Dilbert says, "Take your hands out of my pockets." Nardo says, "Oh, I get it. They're for your use only, right?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #guilty, #stealing, #millions, #insider, #trading, #scheme, #judge, #punishment

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Dogbert stands in front of a judge's bench in a courtroom. The judge says, "I find you guilty of stealing millions in an insider trading scheme." The judge says, "Let's see . . . According to my sliding scale of justice, the punishment at your income is . . . Hmm . . ." Back at home, Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm sentenced to be the subject of a Kitty Kelly biography."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #flowers, #woman, #non-refundable, #date, #deposit, #diskette, #dating, #history, #personal, #references, #financial, #disclosure, #rejection, #notice, #verbal

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Dilbert hands a woman flowers and says, "Here are the flowers and the non-refundable date deposit." Dilbert hands the woman a diskette and says, "This diskette has my dating history, personal references and full financial disclosure." Dilbert asks, "When may I expect the rejection notice?" The woman replies, "I can give you a verbal now . . ."