Stir With Finger Comic Strips - Page 2
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Dilbert points to a telephone on the desk and says to Dogbert, "This is the new 'hot line' phone to the Kremlin. My company won the bid to engineer the new model." Dilbert says as he walks away, "That's a fully functional prototype, so don't mess with it." Dogbert picks up the phone and says, "So, Gorby, I understand you've been finger-painting with your forehead . . ."
Dogbert stands at a desk and works on a computer as Dilbert watches from behind. Dogbert says, "I can execute my stock transactions on-line with the PC." Dogbert stops typing and says, "There . . . My insider trading netted another sixty million dollars." Dilbert shakes his finger at Dogbert and says, "Bad dog!" Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "I suppose it's too late to try slapping him with a rolled-up newspaper."
dilberts letter: "Project status: We accidentally destroyed the French satellite and are now at war with France." Elbonian: "Maybe you should be a little more upbeat in your report. Emphasize the positive." letter: "...on a positive note, our headcount expenses are trending downward."
Dogbert: "Have you ever noticed how incredibly cute I am?" "Look at this little black nose, soft furry ears, adorable little tail...with these looks I could get away with murder." "I'm thinking of becoming a hit man for the mob." Dilbert: "I'm glad we have these little talks."
The Boss: "I want you to help me upgrade the computer in my office." Dilbert: "The computer in your office is a cardboard prop that came with your desk." The Boss: "So, I need a new motherboard, right?" Dilbert: "No, you need a new desk."
The Boss: "You've got inflation eating you from the bottom...and no real opportunity for a promotion." "And as long as all the other companies are downsizing too, you have no leverage. I can get away with anything!" Dilbert: "I miss the eighties." The Boss: "Does this hurt?"
The Boss says to Dilbert, "I hired a professional to help us design our product interface." The Boss continues, "His last job was as an international terrorist. It's not a perfect fit but he went to Yale." Dilbert sits at a table and says to the man sitting with him, "So, I hear you went to Yale, Sven." Sven answers, "I yust got out last week."
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk, reading a newspaper. Dilbert says, "The pundits in the press are nailing us for shipping a keyboard with no 'Q.'" Dilbert continues, "It's a public-relations fiasco. Obviously, we need an engineering solution. I'm on the case." Dilbert and Wally sit at a table. Dilbert says, "Users could use a graphics program to draw a 'Q' in the unlikely event that they need one." Wally says, "Or we could replace the semi-colon; nobody uses them."
Dogbert sits on his pillow. Ratbert approaches him with a notebook and pen and says, "I'm going to interview successful people and write a book of their tips. I'll start with you, Dogbert." Ratbert writes in his notebook as Dogbert says, "Set your alarm clock to go off every hour. Keep a big vat of 'Jell-O' by the bed. When the alarm goes off, stick our head in the 'Jell-O' and yell, 'Boy, I'm tired!'" Ratbert walks away saying, "Thanks!" Dogbert thinks, "Beware the advice of successful people; they do not seek company."
Wally, Alice and Dilbert sit around a conference table. Wally says, "As usual, the boss is late. What do you want to do?" Dilbert suggests, "Let's practice making small talk. It'll come in handy when we meet with marketing." Wally begins, "So, Alice, haven't we seen that outfit a LOT?" Dilbert leans back in his chair and says, "This chair is springy. Do you think they're all springy?"