Suck Comic Strips - Page 2
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20 Results for Suck
View 11 - 20 results for suck comic strips. Discover the best "Suck" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday November 18,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #armchair, #foot, #time, #reach, #outlet, #cord, #hose, #grandfather, #invented, #clean
Transcript
Dogbert struggles with a vacuum cleaner. He thinks, "What idiot invented the canister vacuum cleaner?" Dogbert thinks, "I can only do about a foot at a time . . ." Dogbert pushes the vacuum cleaner and thinks, "Then I have to push this thing another foot." Dogbert turns to the reader and says, "Notice the tiny wheels which are designed to roll on any surface except carpet." Dogbert holds the electrical plug and thinks, "Now I can't reach the outlet." Dogbert thinks, "Then I get hopelessly tangled in the cord and hose." Dilbert enters the room and says, "Hi, Dogbert. Did I ever tell you that my grandfater invented the canister vacuum cleaner?" Dogbert says, "Come closer." Dogbert uses the vacuum cleaner to suck Dilbert's clothes off his body. Dilbert is left wearing only his underwear. Dilbert says, "That's probably why I never mentioned it."
Tuesday April 17,
2001
Tags #cubicle, #sucking life force, #happening faster, #life suck 3000, #machine, #evil catbert
Transcript
Dilbert is standing in front of the boss's desk. Dilbert says, "My cubicle is sucking the life force out of me." Dilbert continues, "I mean, it always has, but it seems like it's happening faster now." The boss approaches Catbert who is at the controls of a large machine called "LifeSuck 3000". The boss says, "They noticed."
Monday January 13,
2003
Tags #cash, #conflicts if interest, #corporate skin, #huge failures, #no red flags, #potential client, #track record
Transcript
A man with hair pointy like antennae approaches The Boss and says, "Hello, potential client. I'm a consultick." The consultick continues, "I'll burrow into your corporate skin, suck your cash and never leave." The consultick continues, "My firm has a track record of huge consulting failures and conflicts of interest!" The Boss thinks, "No red flags."
Friday September 10,
2004
Tags #social situtaion, #ambiguous tight lipped smile, #look away
Transcript
"Uh-oh. It's a gray area social situation." "Do I know this guy well enough to say hi, or do I look away?" "So I went with an ambiguous tight-lipped smile that could be confused with a stomach ache." "Your stories suck."
Wednesday March 13,
2013
Tags #app development, #forced labor camp, #frustration, #private offuce, #work ethic
Transcript
Dilbert: The North Elbonians accused me of being a spy and put me in a forced labor camp. It sounds worse than it was. I had a private office and all I did was app development. Boss: How did you escape? Dilbert: I didn't. I took a personal day to tell you how much you suck.
Sunday December 12,
2004
Tags #cubicle vampire, #happy coowrkers, #in search of, #talk, #work related issues, #life drained, #gut instinct, #you're hire
Transcript
Job interview "What's your biggest weakness." "I'm a cubicle vampire." "I wander the cubicles in search of happy coworkers." "Then I pounce!" "Then you suck their blood?" "That was the old way." "I talk about work-related issues until the life is drained from their bodies." "I'm going to trust my gut instinct on this. You're hired." "Have you met the new hire yet?"
Thursday May 30,
2013
Tags #ex ceo, #executives, #generous, #negotiated, #severance package, #wages, #robotic flea, #giant flea, #money
Transcript
Catbert: Our es-CEO negotiated an unusually generous severance package. We had to build a giant robotic flea to suck the assets out of the company. The weird part is that it seemed reasonable at the time.
Saturday December 28,
2013
Tags #engineer, #google, #evolved, #pure energy, #apathy, #in cop, #coffee, #desk, #engineering
Transcript
Behold my greatness! I was na engineer at google before I evolved to pure energy! Behold my path that will suck the energy out of you like a monkey on an orange. Good bot, Right in the cup.
Sunday January 28,
2018
Tags #assignment, #deadline, #free time, #death march, #payment, #salary, #pay check, #bonus, #non caring, #cold, #heartless monster, #no sense shame, #money
Transcript
The boss: I need this finished by Friday. Dilbert: This assignment will suck up 100% of my free time and turn my happy life into a f=death march. The boss: Thats why we pay you. You pay me so you can ruin my life? The boos: perhaps i said that wrong. The Boss: what I meant is that I don't care how you fell as long as I get my bonus. Dilbert: You're a cold, heartless monster with no sense of shame!!!! The Boss: That why they pay me.
Wednesday May 09,
2018
Our Api
Tags #hackers, #hacking, #api, #jargon, #obliviousness, #language
Transcript
Narrator: Dogbert The Reporter. Dogbert: How did hackers get access to your customer data? CEO: I'm told they used something called "our A.P.I." to suck out all the data. Dogbert: I'll just say you'er stupid. CEO: Why does everyone always say that?
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