Swear Comic Strips - Page 2
23 Results for Swear
View 11 - 20 results for swear comic strips. Discover the best "Swear" comics from Dilbert.com.
Dilbert: The image ins fuzzy because the monitor has an acute design flaw. Tina: Acute? Thats an unusual choice of words. Would you have said "acute" to a mle co worker? I think not. Dilbert: It means crucial, thats all. Tina: I know what the word means! Do you think UI odnt see right through your sexist puns? Dilbert: No! I swear . it was just a poor choice of words!! Tina: Well...okay. I accept your apology this time. So whats wrong with the other monitor? dilbert: which?
Tags #laptop, #freezing up, #telecommuting, #distracted at home, #virtual cubcile, #invisible walls, #cone of prodcutivity, #dedicated, #cone, #focused, #corporate vision, #firm commitment, #work at hime, #victory
Dilbert sits at his desk in his bathrobe. Dogbert says, "My laptop PC keeps freezing up. Come take a look at it." Dilbert replies, "I'm telecommuting, Dogbert. I can't be distracted by home projects." Dilbert says, "Don't come another step closer. This is my virtual cubicle, within which I can not be disturbed." Dilbert spreads his arms and continues, "These invisible walls form a cone of productivity around me." Dilbert continues, "Within this zone I am a dedicated employee, totally focused on the corporate vision." Dilbert continues, "Nothing can distract me from my firm commitment to the work-at-home principle." Dogbert says, "Fine. I think I'll set the couch on fire." Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table working on a laptop. Dogbert says, "Another victory for the distractor!" Dilbert says, "I swear, someday principle will win!"
Catbert tells Asok: "Asok, it's against company policy to date a skeleton you found in a closet." Asok says: "We're just friends! I swear!" Catbert does not accept the explanation: "Eh! Eh!" Asok thinks while walking away: "It's just as well; I think I chipped a tooth."
The Bullysaur says to Bob, "Hello, Bob. I hear you're evolving a zit into a third eye, trying to get an advantage." Bob responds, "Gaaa!! No, it's only for cosmetic reasons, I swear!!" The Bullysaur mutters, "Hmm..." Dogbert and Dilbert are on the couch. Bob's voice is heard, "Gaaa!!" Dogbert asks Dilbert, "Wanna watch a dinosaur be forced to use topical antibiotics?" Dilbert responds, "No, I have 'TIVO.'"
Dilbert says, "This is a magic button." Dilbert says, "Any time you ask for cost estimates, I push the button and it guides me." Button says, "Pull the numbers out of your?" Dilbert says, "It only says the one thing."
Dogbert says, "Welcome to Dogbert's school of time management." Dogbert says, "Today you will learn that rudeness and good time management are the same thing." Man says, "Answer my #@*% question!" Dogbert says, "Keep typing, Beverly! He doesn't exist."
The Boss says, "This is Rodney. He's in charge of product safety testing." The Boss says, "Is our new product safe enough to start selling?" Rodney says, "$#%*" The Boss says, "Did that sound like 'ship' to you?"
Man says, "Our ad campaign will portray users of our competitor's products as baby-eating hobos." Man says, "While our users will be portrayed by the coolest guy in the entire world." Soon the meeting turned ugly Alice says, "Then why are you showing a slide of a giant @$$#%*?"
CEO: I heard that while you were acting CEO you... murdered nine employees, bought an unprofitable start-up and embraced a new management fad that is nothing but ridiculous jargon and wishful thinking. No one likes a show-off. Boss: I swear it was just luck.