Take Down Network Comic Strips - Page 2

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1000 Results for Take Down Network

View 11 - 20 results for take down network comic strips. Discover the best "Take Down Network" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2000's comic on:


Tags #cpr, #take kidney, #leave in ice, #strip him, #save him

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Dilbert, Catbert and The Boss look at Asok the Intern's legs sticking straight up in the air. Dilbert asks, "Asok is down. Does anyone know CPR?" The Boss says to Dilbert, "Is CPR the one where we take his kidney and leave him in a tub of ice?" Dilbert says to The Boss, "Um... I don't think so." The Boss says, "We'd better strip him and shave him just in case."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 1999's comic on:


Tags #mordac, #information services, #preventer, #computer, #pda, #catbird intervenes, #human rsources, #nework cable, #technology

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Mordac bursts into Dilbert's cubicle. Mordac says, "I am Mordac. the preventor of information services!" Mordac says, "I'll take your computer and your little PDA too!" Dilbert hugs his monitor. Mordac says, "Do you recognize this?" Mordac holds up a wire. Dilbert says, "Aaaagh! That's my network cable!" Dilbert says, "What do you want from me?!" Catbert leans over the cubicle wall. Catbert says, "Mordac, it is I catbert, the evil director of human resources!" Catbert jumps down onto Mordac. Catbert says, "You made my personal printer a shared device!" Dilbert watches a clothing flies. Dilbert is at home and says, to Dogbert, "Two wrongs made a right." Dogbert says, "Welcome to my reality."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 2002's comic on:


Tags #rat hole, #business plan, #pay huge investment fees, #money losing, #take your money, #push in hole

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Dogbert is sitting outside behind a desk labeled, "Rat Hole." A businessman approaches holding a bag of money and asks, "May I throw money down the rat hole?" Dogbert replies, "Show me your business plan." Dogbert flips through the business plan and says, "You plan to pay huge investment banking fees to buy a low-margin, money-losing business..." Dogbert says, "For an extra fee, I'll push you in the hold and take your money." The businessman replies, "Oooh, sounds good."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 2013's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #upgrade, #unstable network, #risks, #folksy response, #break eggs

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Dilbert: The upgrade could make our network unstable. Boss: You can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs. Dilbert: I interpret your folksy response to mean I should upgrade the network despite the risks. Boss: No, I'm saying I'll break your eggs if the network goes down.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2001's comic on:


Tags #use vacation time, #finish project, #find solution, #come to work on vacation, #network remotely

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The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, you need to use your vacation time before the end of the year." Alice responds, "I don't have time. I need to finish my project." The Boss responds, "I'm sure that a highly trained engineer like you can find a solution." Alice responds, "Well.. I could say I'm on vacation and come to work as usual." The Boss responds, "No. I can't count it as vacation unless you're not in the building." Alice responds, "Okay.. I could take home my computer and work there." The Boss says, "No... You're not allowed to access our network remotely." Alice stands outside and leans through a window to use her computer. She thinks, "#!&#% worst vacation ever."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 2014's comic on:


Tags #hypocrisy, #performance review, #projects, #redo, #winding down, #work ethic, #more responsibility

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Dilbert: My projects are winding down and I'd like to take on more responsibility. Boss: Ooh. That's a problem because I just finished your performance review and it says you don't take initiative. Dilbert: I guess you need to redo that. Boss: That would be one way to play it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2014's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #investor meeting, #emailed, #powerpoint slide, #dumbed down, #technical stuff, #non engineers, #it be good, #no questions, #business

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Dilbert: I emailed you the PowerPoint slide for your investor meeting. I dumbed down the technical stuff for you non-engineers. Boss: "Technology: It Be Good." Dilbert: I wouldn't take questions.

Network Is Slow

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Network Is Slow - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 2016's comic on:


Tags #bandwidth, #network, #speed, #nsfw, #videos, #internet, #technology

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Boss: Why is our network so slow today? Dilbert: I'll check. Okay, it seems that 75 percent of the staff is viewing inappropriate videos. Boss: That's all I wanted to do, too.

Turn Down Service

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Turn Down Service - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 2016's comic on:


Tags #pun, #wordplay, #hotel, #turn-down

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Dilbert: I'd like to decline your turn-down service tonight so I can have some privacy. Voice: We're going to do it anyway. Good luck finding your stuff after we randomly move it. Dilbert: What? You can't do that! I hereby turn down your turn down of your turn-down service! Voice: Say goodbye to your phone charger!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2011's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #fraternization, #friends with ghots, #ghandi, #ghost personal page, #ghosts, #heaven, #internet & world wide web, #llincoln, #satellite pictures, #social media, #social network, #technology

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Dogbert: Our new product will be a social network for people who want to be friends with ghosts. We'll post satellite pictures on each ghost's personal page and say the photos were taken from heaven. Man: Abraham Lincoln posted new pictures. Woman: I'm chatting with Gandhi! Later.