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Robot: I told Wally he could use my body for telepresence. He's coming online now. Wally: Greetings, carbon-based units. I come to you from the third stall in the men's room. Boss: This is what happens when our techhnology evolves faster than our etiquette.
Wally, do yuo have the capital cost estimates I asked for last week? Wally: No, I always ask you to clarify what you need. You say you'll get back to me but you never do. The Boss: Maybe I could clarify it now. Wally: That would ruin my system.
The Boss says, "I'd like to thank our CEO for coming to our meeting." Dilbert says, "You said everyone would be wearing costumes today." Wally says, "I'm unreliable." Dilbert says, "I kind of hate you now." Wally says, "Geez, who moved your cheese?"
The Boss says, "Oh no. If I don't forward this e-mail to fifty friends, I'll die within a week." The Boss says, "I don't have that many friends! I need to make more friends, and fast!!!" Dilbert says, "What are you sending him now?" Wally says, "I'm upping it to sixty friends."
Wally says, "I need to get some of that work-life balance I keep hearing about." Wally says, "I thought about work all last night at home, so what do I do now?" Wally says, "It's not too late to get in on this."
Dilbert: Cryonics will allow me to preserve my brain until the age of transhumanism so I can live forever in a robot body. Boss: Dilbert, I need a status update on why your last status wasn't updated. Dilbert: Please kill me now. Wally: I don't do favors that can't be repaid.
Boss: Experts say I need employees who can say no to me. I'd like you to be my trusted adviser, Wally, because you can criticize every idea I have. Wally: No. That's the dumbest plan I've ever heard. Boss: What? Wally: You heard me. Boss: I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do now. Wally: You could thank me for saying no. Boss: Why does that sound right?!!!! Wally: You're welcome.
Wally: Studies show that successful people can start early. Can I start work at 4AM and quit at noon? Boss: How would I know you were really working the first four hours? Wally: Same way you know now. Boss: I don't know now. Wally: It's like that but with less attendance.
Dilbert: Ben, from marketing, is here to give us a preview of our new tv ad. Ben: The opening scene shows a bunch of men who are weak and stupid, failing to solve a common problem. Then a confident and strong woman enters and solves the problem with ease. Dilbert: Isn't that incredibly sexist? Ben: No, because only the men are weak and stupid. Dilbert: And that's not sexist? Ben: Why are you being so weak and stupid? You sound like a bigot. Dilbert: I'll be quiet now. Wally: As quickly as it began, the rebellion was quashed.