Teach Comic Strips - Page 2

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92 Results for Teach

View 11 - 20 results for teach comic strips. Discover the best "Teach" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 2000's comic on:


Tags #product to meet demand, #lower demand, #bah, #new startegy, #more arrogant, #teach

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The Boss says at a meeting: "We can't make enough of our product to meet demand." He continues: "Our new strategy is to be more arrogant. We hope that will lower demand." At home, Dilbert asks Dogbert: "Can you teach me to be arrogant." Dogbert exclaims: "Bah!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 1999's comic on:


Tags #how to book, #teach people, #winning lottery numbers, #find free real estate, #lose weight, #tubs of ice cream, #strong abs, #see angels, #near death experience, #get rid witnesses

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Dogbert sits at Dilberts computer. Dilbert stands in a robe with a cup of coffee. Dogbert says, "I'm writing a comprehensive "how to" book." Dogbert says, "In chapter one, I teach people how to pick winning lottery numbers." Dogbert says, "Chapter two: How to find free real estate in very nice neighborhoods." Dogbert says, "Chapter three: how to lose weight by eating huge tubs of ice cream." Dogbert says, "Chapter four: how to build strong abs by joining a gym and never going." Dogbert says, "Finally, how to see angels by giving yourself a near death experience." Dogbert says, "That last one is just to get rid of all the witnesses." Dilbert thinks, "On the plus side I don't feel so bad about not recycling."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 2002's comic on:


Tags #committee across hall, #west side story, #dance fight, #teach

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Wally, The Boss, and Dilbert are meeting. A coworker approaches and says, "I just found out that the committee across the hall is doing the same thing we are." The coworker continues, "All we can do now is hum 'West Side Story' and have a dance-fight." The coworker leaves dancing and humming. Wally turns and says, "Can you teach me how to hum?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 2002's comic on:


Tags #desk feels better, #fluorescent lights, #close door, #teach him, #new office

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Dilbert sits in his new office. He thinks, "Aah.. Even the desk feels better when you have your own office." Dilbert leans back in his chair and thinks, "The fluorescent lights are warmer and brighter." Dilbert is sleeping in his underwear on top of his desk. The Boss says to Carol, "Remind me to teach him when to close the door."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2003's comic on:


Tags #slither away, #doomed project, #assistant, #teach you, #manager skin, #speaking metaphor

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Dogbert: "You need to slither away from your doomed project before you get blamed." Dogbert: "My assistant will teach you how to shed your project manager skin." Snake: "Yello!" Skeleton: "Ow! Ow! Ow! How's this so far?" Snake: "Impressive, but we were speaking metaphorically."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 2004's comic on:


Tags #taking chance, #indoor plumbing, #teach human habits, #feral emplyee, #trained, #office

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"The feral employee" "I'm taking a chance by hiring you. Dont make me regret it." "Today, one of my seasoned professionals will teach you to use indoor plumbing." "Look! Look at me! The newspaper tucks under the arm!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2005's comic on:


Tags #technical glitch, #humble, #condescending engineer, #teach you to ask, #drinking beer, #study english, #sorry

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Tina: Oh No. It's a technical glitch that I don't know how to fix. "GAA! NOw I must humble myself to some condescending engineer and ask for help!" Alice: "And how did I teach you to ask?" Tina: "I'm sorry that I spent my college years drinking beer and studying English literature."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 2000's comic on:


Tags #candidate for engineering, #resume, #invented e-commerce, #hire now, #team that invented, #teach paul, #to invent things

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "Help me interview a candidate for engineering." The Boss says to Dilbert, "I think he's terrific!" Dilbert thinks to himself, "Uh-oh." During the interview, Dilbert says to the candidate, "According to your resume, Paul, you invented e-commerce." The Boss says, "Wow!" The Boss then exclaims, "I'm going to hire him right now!" Dilbert replies, "Hold on." Dilbert says to Paul, "Paul, you didn't really invent e-commerce, did you?" Paul ansers, "Well..." Paul continues, "Maybe I was...um...part of the team that invented it." Dilbert, now agitated, yells "No one invented e-commerce!" The Boss, completely oblivious to all that 's been said asks Paul, "When can you start?" Dilbert asks the Boss, "Why am I here?" The Boss responds, "Maybe Paul can teach you how to invent things."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2010's comic on:


Tags #security access, #canceled, #accident, #mistake, #scared, #fugitive, #nervous, #invisible, #teach, #useless, #hvac, #breathing, #cubicle, #blend in, #secuirty guard

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The Boss says, "My security access was accidentally canceled and now I'm a fugitive." The Boss says, "Can you teach me to be as useless as you are so I'm invisible for all practical purposes?" Guard says, "I hear breathing but it must be the HVAC system." Wally says, "Be the cubicle."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2010's comic on:


Tags #dead, #afterlife, #evicted, #management, #teach, #learn, #consultant, #devil, #late, #status report, #locusts, #business

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The Boss says, "Technically, I was dead for a week. But I was evicted from the afterlife and had to come back." The Boss says, "The afterlife has a lot to teach us about management. I brought home a consultant." Dilbert says, "I might be late with my status report." The Boss says, "Do you know what locusts taste like?"