Test New Invention Comic Strips - Page 2
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1000 Results for Test New Invention
View 11 - 20 results for test new invention comic strips. Discover the best "Test New Invention" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday May 01,
2009
Tags #meeting, #game, #money, #broke, #correcting, #sitting, #business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Welcome to another round of 'If we had money.' I'll go first." Dilbert says, "If we had money, we could design and test new products." Asok says, "We could go to training." Dilbert says, "You forgot to say, 'If we had money'!"
Thursday May 27,
1993
Tags #the boss, #defantalator, #invention, #eliminate, #naughty, #male, #employees, #succeeded, #acting, #Men, #new, #hairdo
Transcript
A woman stands in front of the Boss's desk holding a device. The woman says, "My 'defantalator' invention can eliminate the unproductive and naughty thoughts of your male employees." The woman continues, "We succeeded in getting men to stop ACTING like men, but it wasn't enough. Men must stop THINKING like men too." The Boss thinks, "Hmm . . . A little makeup and a new hairdo . . ." The woman points the invention at the Boss and says, "Hey! Cut it out!"
Tuesday November 18,
1997
Tags #losers, #bad ideas, #test a new idea, #research, #science
Transcript
Dilbert is dressed in shorts and a t-shirt and carries a Frisbee. He says, "All great ideas look like bad ideas to people who are losers." Dilbert throws the Frisbee while Dogbert watches it float away. Dilbert says, "It's always a good to test a new idea with known losers to make sure they don't like it." Dogbert's Research Co. A man says to a woman, 'What a coincidence. We both lost three homes in flood zones." The woman is in love. Dogbert says, "Let's begin."
Saturday July 28,
2007
Tags #eliminated budget, #automated test software, #new code, #automated test, #end any converstaion, #calling person big baby
Transcript
Dilbert: "You eliminated the budget for automated test software. How are we going to test our new code?" The Boss: "Go write some automated test software, you big baby. I already pay you, so it's free." Dilbert: "Today I learned I can end any conversation by calling the other person a big baby." Dogbert: "Waa-waa! Do you want your bottle?"
Wednesday December 05,
2007
Tags #intern, #test pilot, #new moon, #shuttle prototype, #wiser, #monkey on first flight
Transcript
The Boss: "Asok, I need an intern to test-pilot our new moon shuttle prototype." Asok: "Wouldn't it be wiser to send a monkey on the first flight?" The Boss: "You're thinking of the second flight."
Tuesday April 01,
2014
Tags #work ethic, #dark matter, #universe, #new excuse, #a-b test, #hidden dimensions
Transcript
Wally: The universe is full of dark matter, quantum strangeness, and hidden dimensions. In such a universe, can we really know whether or not I did my assignment? Dilbert: How'd the new excuse work out? Wally: It did well in the A-B test against "You never told me to do that."
Friday July 07,
1989
Tags #invention, #lost, #invisible
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk with his arms folded. Dogbert approaches and asks, "How's your new 'stealth' cloaking invention coming along?" Dilbert walks away looking angry. Dogbert asks, "Can't find it, huh?" Dilbert replies, "Shaddup."
Thursday December 16,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #dog, #Dogbert, #invention
Transcript
Dilbert holds a shirt and says to Dogbert, "I need a name for my new tubular luggage invention." Dilbert rolls the shirt and stuffs it into a can. Dilbert continues, "The name should be descriptive of its function, yet also call out to my target market." Dilbert says, "Go ahead . . . Get it out of your system." Dogbert says, "Dorkage."
Wednesday April 23,
1997
Tags #home early, #sick kid, #family freindly, #test for drugs
Transcript
Alice peers into the Boss's office as she puts on her coat. She says, "I'm going home early because my kid is sick." Alice says, "Remember, we have a new 'Family Friendly' policy." The Boss asks, "We do?" The Boss asks, "Is that why my family seems so friendly?" Alice replies, "Maybe, but I'd test 'em for drugs."
Sunday October 19,
1997
Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #human resources, #randomly selected, #drug test, #unlucky at work, #hair samples, #one whole eyebrow, #lost box, #business
Transcript
Catbert sits at his computer terminal. The monitor dispalys a picture of Wally, labeled Victims. Catbert thinks, "You're next." Catbert stands in Wally's cubicle and says, "Wally, you've been randomly selected for an employee drug test." Wally says, "Randomly? Why am I the only one who gets picked every week?!" Catbert says, "You're very unlucky at work. But I'm sure you compensate by being lucky at love." Catbert laughs a maniacal laugh. Catbert says, "Anyway... our new drug test uses hair samples." Catbert holds a little box and says, "To be safe, give me six hairs... and one whole eyebrow." Catbert walks off with his box, purring. He thinks, "I'll come back in an hour and says I lost the box."