Title Comic Strips - Page 2

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40 Results for Title

View 11 - 20 results for title comic strips. Discover the best "Title" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 2004's comic on:


Tags #single source vendor, #job offer, #vp title, #waiting eriod

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The boss: Okay, I convinced my company to make you our single source vendor. I assume you'll be make me a job offer now. any vp title will be fine. I'll just take an empty office. There ...is...a...waiting period!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 2009's comic on:


Tags #title, #janitor, #proud, #happy, #ridiculous

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Floyd, I'm giving you a c-level title." Dogbert says, "You'll be the chief janitorial officer, in charge of all dirt, germs, dead critters and problematic excretions." Man says, "Is it because I'm so important?" Dogbert says, "What answer would make you clean up poop faster?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #meeting, #title, #meaningless, #proud, #mean, #cruel, #deflated, #orders, #business

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says ,"Employees are so important to me that our head of human resources will get a C-level title." Dogbert says, "Edna will be our CPO, or Chief People officer." Dogbert says ,"Take a seat over there by the chief artificial coffee creamer officer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2011's comic on:


Tags #inventions, #thinking, #creative, #teacher, #business card, #ideationista, #education

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Boss: I hired Ken to teach us how to be more creative. According to his business card, his title is "ideationista." Ken: That was some of my best work.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 2012's comic on:


Tags #pantless weasel, #search engine, #optimization, #game the system, #accomplice, #corrupt integrity

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Boss: I hired a pantless weasel yo do our search engine optimization. Boss: He'll help us gas the system and corrupt the integrity of all internet search results for our industry. Boss: Your new job title is "accomplice"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #dispel, #sexist, #treament, #female, #egineers, #directors, #agreed, #fellow, #betty, #company, #women's, #rest, #room

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The Boss says to Dilbert and Betty, "I want to dispel the myth that we're sexist in our treatment of female engineers." The Boss continues, "The directors have agreed to award Betty the title of company 'fellow.'" Betty asks, "Fellow?" The Boss says, "You'll still use the women's rest room of course."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 1994's comic on:


Tags #no raises, #promotions, #job titles, #named beverly

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The Boss: We're flattening the organization to eliminate levels and put everybody in a wide salary band. Now instead of not getting a promotion. you'll only not get a raise, wally: So what job title do we use? The Boss: You'll all be named Beverly.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 1996's comic on:


Tags #document, #job process, #requirements, #anticipate, #shifting political winds, #relevant buzzwords, #achieve, #importance, #adding value, #process design

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Dilbert sits at a table using a laptop. Dilbert tells the man across the table, "I need to document your job processes to satisfy our ISO 9000 requirements." The man replies, "Okay." The man says, "I try to anticipate the shifting political winds. Then I wrap myself in the relevant buzzwords and try to achieve importance without adding value." Dilbert asks, "What's your job title?" The man replies, "Director of ISO 9000 Quality Process Design."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #seven, #advantages, #dumb, #bob, #ozone, #layer, #doggie, #doctor, #solution, #television, #car, #constrained, #budget, #elvis, #compliment

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Dogbert sits on a stool. The panel contains the title, "Dogbert Presents: The Seven Advantages of Being Dumb." The caption says, "1. Impending doom doesn't bother you." Dilbert tells Bob the Dinosaur, "There's a hole in the ozone layer." Bob replies, "Cool!" The caption says, "2. Television is a source of constant wonder." Bob sits in a chair watching tv and thinking, "I wonder if Doogie is a doctor in real life." The caption says, "3. You have a solution for every problem." Bob thinks, "If people are starving in Africa they should move to France." The caption says, "4. You are not constrained by a budget." Bob sits in the driver's seat of a convertible car. He shouts to Dilbert, "It was free! They just make you sign papers!" The caption says, "5. You've seen Elvis . . . Frequently." Bob watches a man walk by and says, "It's the King!" The caption says, "6. Instant replays are as exciting as live action." Bob watches tv and thinks, "This time he could make it." The caption says, "7. You receive twice as many compliments." Dogbert says, "You're kind of the Dan Quayle of dinosaurs." Bob says, "Really?! Wow!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #abuse people, #reduce turnover, #job titles, #convicted felon

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Catbert, the Evil H.R. Director, sits at his desk. He thinks, "I can't abuse people if they quit the company. I'd better find a way to reduce turnover." Catbert types into his PC, "All job titles will be changed as follows..." Wally stares at his computer screen and says, "My new title is... "Convicted Felon." Dilbert says, "That's look good on the ol' resume."