To Dumb Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

168 Results for To Dumb

View 11 - 20 results for to dumb comic strips. Discover the best "To Dumb" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2012's comic on:

Tags #complaining, #conversation, #ask ed, #dumb guy, #liar, #bad breath, #braggaty, #large pores, #combover, #describe me, #behind my back, #insecure guy, #steers conversation

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: You should ask Ed about this. Carol: Is Ed the dumb guy who talks too much or the liar with the bad breath? Alice: He's the braggart with large pores and a combover. Dilbert: Wow. How do you describe me behind my back? Carol: You're the insecure guy who steers the conversation to himself.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2012's comic on:

Tags #interviewed users, #suggestions, #idiots, #dumb suggestions, #hindsight

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We interviewed hundreds of users and turned all of their suggestions into features. As it turns out, every user we talked to was an idiot, and their dumb suggestions ruined our product. In hindsight, we probably should have talked to people who work outside this building.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2012's comic on:

Tags #retail business, #sales drop, #retail stores, #self checkout, #dumb customers, #most shoplifted

View Transcript

Transcript

Finance Troll: Our sales have dropped to zero in retail stores that have self-checkout. Apparently the people who are dumb enough to want our product are too dumb to know how to use the self-checkout. On a positive note, we have the most shoplifted product of the year. Boss: Yes!

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2012's comic on:

Tags #conversation, #idea, #shredding gloves, #bad listener, #dumb idea

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Hold that thought until I put on my idea-shredding gloves. Dilbert: My idea is that...we...um... You're a bad listener. Alice: Tell me more about your dumb idea.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 1991's comic on:

Tags #park bench, #Dogbert, #parties, #lift, #heavy, #sound, #dumb, #body, #builder, #pay

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a park bench next to a muscular man. The large man says, "It's not easy to be a professional body builder." The man continues, "At parties, people ask what I do. I have to say 'I lift heavy things, then I put them down.' It makes me sound dumb." Dogbert asks, "How's the pay?" The man asks, "Pay?"

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 1995's comic on:

Tags #dogbert the consultant, #relocate russia, #hire engineers, #weed out dumb, #like heaven

View Transcript

Transcript

Pointing to a map, Dogbert tells the Boss, "Your best bet is to relocate the company to Russia." Dogbert continues, "You can hire engineers for two cents a year!" The Boss asks, "Is it difficult to weed out the dumb ones?" Dogbert says, "No. And that leads me into the good news about their occupational safety laws." The Boss says, "It's like heaven!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #secrets, #Men, #dumb, #model, #hint, #boyfriend, #killer, #saturday, #woman, #dating

View Transcript

Transcript

The strip is titled, "The secrets of men. A guide for women." The caption says, "Women wonder why men say dumb things to start conversations." Dilbert asks a woman, "Are you a model?" The caption says, "Why can't men take a hint?" The woman replies, "No, but my boyfriend is a killer." The caption says, "Why are men so thick?" Dilbert asks, "Are you free Saturday?" The caption says, "Why are excuses useless?" The woman replies, "I have to wash my goldfish." Dilbert asks, "How about Sunday?" The caption says, "Why don't men understand the word no?" The woman says, "No no no no no no . . ." Dilbert asks, "What are you trying to say?" The caption says, "Men know why they act like that:" Dilbert and the woman look at each other. The caption says, ". . . Sometimes it works." Dilbert and the woman walk into the sunset holding hands.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 1996's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #career counselor, #contract employee, #rehired, #higher salary, #downsized, #dumb, #hire third time, #parable, #ant and spider, #both boring

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally sits across from Dogbert's desk and says, "I was fired once, but I came back as a contract employee. Later I was rehired at a higher salary." Wally continues, "Now I'm being downsized again. Do you think they'll be dumb enough to hire me a third time?" Dogbert says, "Your story reminds me of the parable of the ant and the spider." Wally asks, "Really? How?" Dogbert replies, "They're both boring."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #seven, #advantages, #dumb, #bob, #ozone, #layer, #doggie, #doctor, #solution, #television, #car, #constrained, #budget, #elvis, #compliment

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a stool. The panel contains the title, "Dogbert Presents: The Seven Advantages of Being Dumb." The caption says, "1. Impending doom doesn't bother you." Dilbert tells Bob the Dinosaur, "There's a hole in the ozone layer." Bob replies, "Cool!" The caption says, "2. Television is a source of constant wonder." Bob sits in a chair watching tv and thinking, "I wonder if Doogie is a doctor in real life." The caption says, "3. You have a solution for every problem." Bob thinks, "If people are starving in Africa they should move to France." The caption says, "4. You are not constrained by a budget." Bob sits in the driver's seat of a convertible car. He shouts to Dilbert, "It was free! They just make you sign papers!" The caption says, "5. You've seen Elvis . . . Frequently." Bob watches a man walk by and says, "It's the King!" The caption says, "6. Instant replays are as exciting as live action." Bob watches tv and thinks, "This time he could make it." The caption says, "7. You receive twice as many compliments." Dogbert says, "You're kind of the Dan Quayle of dinosaurs." Bob says, "Really?! Wow!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 1998's comic on:

Tags #industrial espionage program, #secret reports, #plan, #fire dumb people, #perfect cover

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Alice are talking in the hall over a cup of coffee. Bob walks up holding a box of his office supplies and says, "I've been chosen for the industrial espionage program." Bob gets an evil look on his face and says, "The plan is that I quit this job and go work for our competitor. Every week I'll send back secret reports." Alice says, "Bob, this is how we fire dumb people." Bob turns to go and says, "That's why it's the perfect cover."