Traffic To Site Comic Strips - Page 2

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75 Results for Traffic To Site

View 11 - 20 results for traffic to site comic strips. Discover the best "Traffic To Site" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #critical code, #air traffic control, #gifted programmer, #payroll system, #dont fly, #pay day

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Wally sits at his desk and thinks, "Wally writes the critical code for our nation's new air traffic control system. The crowd is silent." Wally thinks, "Suddenly the gifted programmer employs a rarely seen strategy of 'code reuse.' The crowd goes wild." Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit a table eating lunch. Dilbert asks Wally, "So you used code from the payroll system?" Wally replies, "Here's a tip: don't fly on pay day."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #leadership, #air traffic control system, #on time, #under budget, #feature creep, #dangerous, #wall clock

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Dogbert stands on an air traffic control panel. He says to the Boss, "Thanks to my leadership, the new air traffic control system is designed on time and under budget." Dogbert continues, "I had to cut a few corners. This big radar-looking thing is a wall clock. And most of the buttons are glued on." The Boss says, "It looks like it might be um . . . dangerous." Dogbert says angrily, "Great . . . I finish early and what do I get: 'feature creep.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consultant, #attractive women, #trade show booth, #rejected idea, #sexist, #demeaning, #increase traffic, #dental floss, #thong bikini dilberts, #business

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Dilbert, Alice, Wally and the Boss sit at a conference table. Alice says, "Our consultant suggested putting attractive women in our booth at the trade show." Alice continues, "I rejected that idea. It is sexist and demeaning. I have a better idea to increase traffic to our booth." Dilbert asks, "What's the dental floss for?" Alice replies, "It's your thong bikini. You'll stand in front of our competitor's booth."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frazzled, #meet deadlines, #all day meeting off site, #theroy, #more time to explin

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Dilbert tells the Boss, "I'm totally frazzled. There simply isn't enough time in the day to meet my upcoming deadlines." Dilbert's hair and clothes are disheveled. The Boss says, "Let's have an all-day meeting off-site so I can explain why the deadlines are so important." Dilbert says, "So, your theory is that I'll have more time in the day if you explain something I already know?" The Boss replies, "I don't have a lot of tools here."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #off site meeting, #overworked, #invite staff, #discuss mission statement, #sack race, #state trooper, #shoot any animal

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Dilbert sits at his desk working and talking on the phone at the same time. The Boss asks, "Have you set up our off-site meeting so we can talk about how overworked you are?" The Boss continues, "I was thinking we should invite the reast of the staff, too. We can discuss our mission statement, maybe have a sack race." The Boss adds, "Did you know that if you're a state trooper, you can shoot any animal that's been hit by a car?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #everyone can come, #blame traffic, #sociopth, #get enough sleep

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The boss says to Dilbert: "I scheduled the meeting for 6:00 A.M. so everyone can make it." Dilbert says to the boss: "I assume you'll show up at eight o'clock and blame the traffic." The boss walks away and says: "The great thing about being a sociopath is that I always get enough sleep."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chronic lateness, #repertoire, #classic excuses, #traffic, #loserville, #jinx

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Wally says to Dilbert, "I've decided to add chronic lateness to my repertoire." Wally continues, "I'll start with the classic excuses: car problems, traffic, and misplaced items. Then I'll branch out." Dilbert says, "You're the mayor of Loserville." Wally replies, "Don't jinx it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #scheduled, #secretary, #moron, #doesn't respect, #stuck in traffic, #business

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The Boss approaches Carol and asks, "Carol, where's my ten o'clock?" Carol responds, "He said he'd be late because you're a moron and he doesn't respect you." The Boss' appointment comes in and asks Carol, "Did you tell him I was stuck in traffic?" Carol responds, "It's not always about you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #disgruntled employees, #open door policy, #rush hour, #safely dropped, #traffic, #trap door, #eliminate whiners

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Catbert points to a drawing and says to The Boss, "The trap door will work with your 'open door policy' to eliminate whiners." Catbert continues, "Disgruntled employees will be safely dropped into rush hour traffic." The Boss is lying face down in a snowy street. Cars are passing him by. The Boss thinks, "I need to remember that's there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet traffic, #good thing, #under sewage, #breathe through straw, #grateful, #sewer system

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Wally: "Asok, would you like to join a doomed project for sending internet traffic over the sewer system?" Asok: "Absolutely! I might be young and inexperienced, but I know a good thing when I see it!" Wally: "I need you to work under the sewage and breathe through a straw." Asok: "I get a straw?!!"