Training For Marathins Comic Strips - Page 2

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View 11 - 20 results for training for marathins comic strips. Discover the best "Training For Marathins" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 1993's comic on:


Tags #matt, #Dilbert, #computer, #mentoring, #productivity, #training

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Dilbert says to Matt, "This is your computer." Dilbert moves the mouse and says, "When you hear footsteps it's a good idea to move this thing around and click it." Dilbert says as he walks away, "This concludes your technical training. If you have further questions just remember you're inconveniencing me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 1994's comic on:


Tags #quality training, #promoted, #management, #lobotomy, #footsteps

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Dilbert: "The only way to get ahead in this company is by getting promoted to management." "I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get promoted. I want to follow in your footsteps." "But I'm wondering if a lobotomy is actually necessary." "No, we'll just run you through 'quality training'."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 1994's comic on:


Tags #sexist comments, #sensitivity training, #midol, #period, #Women, #chicks, #shopping, #hits boss, #crying

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The Boss: "Dilbert, I'm sending you to 'diversity sensitivity' training." "Alice doesn't have to go because chicks are born already knowing this stuff. It's as natural as shopping and crying." Dilbert: "Can I get a 'Midol' for either one of you?" "Whump whump whump"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 1994's comic on:


Tags #diveristy, #sensitivity training, #seek better understanding, #dumpy white guy section

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"I can't believe we have to go to 'diversity sensitivity' training." "Wally, I don't see how it could be bad to seek a better understanding of others." "Uh-oh." "Take a seat in the 'dumpy white guy section'. I'm ready to start."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 1994's comic on:


Tags #diversity training, #respect differences, #four groups, #insults group, #dog, #teaching, #workers, #animals, #education

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Dilbert: In 'diversity sensitivity' training you will learn to respect those who are different. DOgbert: People basically fall into these four groups. ugly smart cute smart ugly stupid cute stupid Dilbert: This is different than I expected. Dogbert: I notice that all of you are in this box here.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 1995's comic on:


Tags #mandatory training, #business ethics, #save money, #training, #decorate offcie, #taken training, #common sense

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The Boss asks Dilbert, "Have you taken the mandatory training for business ethics?" Dilbert answers, "No. But if you SAY I did then you'll save some money on training which you can spend to decorate your office." The Boss says, "Luckily, I haven't taken the training myself." Dilbert says, "I hear it's mostly common sense anyway."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 1995's comic on:


Tags #increase budget, #training, #leave the company, #more money, #competitor, #down side

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Wally stands in front of the Boss's desk. Wally demands, "You've got to increase the budget for training!" The Boss responds, "If I train you, then wouldn't you just leave the company to make more money working for our competitor?" Wally says, "I guess there is a downside." The Boss asks, "And the downside would be . . . ?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 1995's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #corporate jet pilot, #captain dogbert, #first flight, #training budget, #look out window, #jump, #in case of crash

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Dogbert sits in the cockpit of an airplane. He says, "Attention, passenger." Dogbert continues, "I'm Captain Dogbert. This is my first flight. I'll bet you wish you hadn't cut the corporate training budget." The passenger, the CEO of the company, looks shocked. Dogbert continues, "For safety, keep an eye out the window . . . If it looks like we're gonna hit the ground, try jumping up right before impact." The passenger looks scared.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 1995's comic on:


Tags #shipped new prodcut, #tech support, #trained, #embarrasments, #monk, #training, #material, #real monk, #pig latin

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The Boss speaks to three employees in tech support. He says, "We just shipped our newest product. You folks in tech support will need to be trained so you can avoid any embarrassments." The Boss says, "We had a monk write the training material on a grain of rice. We could only afford one, so you'll have to share it." The Boss tosses a grain of rice at them and they lunge for it. As the employees fall to the floor fighting, the Boss says, "To be honest, I'm not sure we had a real monk. He wrote everything in Pig Latin."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 1996's comic on:


Tags #laptop computers, #its to program, #training program, #rectangle plastic thing, #boost sales, #sales force

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "In an effort to boost sales, laptop computers have been given to every member of the sales force." Wally says, "That could be a problem, given the recent cuts to the training budget." The caption says, "Meanwhile, in the field." A salesperson holds up a laptop and says to a client, "And if you order today, I'll throw in this rectangular plastic thing."