Training Dept Comic Strips - Page 2
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191 Results for Training Dept
View 11 - 20 results for training dept comic strips. Discover the best "Training Dept" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday June 05,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #consultant, #plunging, #problem, #easy, #solve, #training, #budget, #brains
Transcript
Dogbert stands in front of an easel and points to a diagram. The Boss and a woman sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "Your profits are plunging." Dogbert continues, "The problem will not be easy to solve." The diagram shows a large brain labeled "competitors," a smaller brain labeled "beavers," and a tiny brain labeled "you." The Boss asks, "So, what should we do? Cut the training budget again?"
Thursday November 21,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #profits, #low, #training, #class, #cute, #jumpy
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "Dilbert, profits are too low. I've got to let you go . . ." Dilbert says, "What!!" The Boss continues, ". . . To a training class." The Boss walks away thinking, "They're so cute when they get jumpy."
Wednesday December 16,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #training, #company, #overpriced, #inferior, #products, #quotas, #illegally
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a table with training materials in front of him. The speaker says, "Welcome to sales training." The man continues, "As you know, our company makes over-priced, inferior products. We try to compensate by setting high sales quotas." The instructor continues, "We don't ASK you to act illegally, but it's pretty much the only way to reach quota. Okay, that's it for training. Any questions?"
Thursday December 02,
1993
Tags #matt, #Dilbert, #computer, #mentoring, #productivity, #training
Transcript
Dilbert says to Matt, "This is your computer." Dilbert moves the mouse and says, "When you hear footsteps it's a good idea to move this thing around and click it." Dilbert says as he walks away, "This concludes your technical training. If you have further questions just remember you're inconveniencing me."
Monday April 04,
1994
Tags #quality training, #promoted, #management, #lobotomy, #footsteps
Transcript
Dilbert: "The only way to get ahead in this company is by getting promoted to management." "I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get promoted. I want to follow in your footsteps." "But I'm wondering if a lobotomy is actually necessary." "No, we'll just run you through 'quality training'."
Tuesday May 31,
1994
Tags #sexist comments, #sensitivity training, #midol, #period, #Women, #chicks, #shopping, #hits boss, #crying
Transcript
The Boss: "Dilbert, I'm sending you to 'diversity sensitivity' training." "Alice doesn't have to go because chicks are born already knowing this stuff. It's as natural as shopping and crying." Dilbert: "Can I get a 'Midol' for either one of you?" "Whump whump whump"
Wednesday June 01,
1994
Tags #diveristy, #sensitivity training, #seek better understanding, #dumpy white guy section
Transcript
"I can't believe we have to go to 'diversity sensitivity' training." "Wally, I don't see how it could be bad to seek a better understanding of others." "Uh-oh." "Take a seat in the 'dumpy white guy section'. I'm ready to start."
Thursday June 02,
1994
Tags #diversity training, #respect differences, #four groups, #insults group, #dog, #teaching, #workers, #animals, #education
Transcript
Dilbert: In 'diversity sensitivity' training you will learn to respect those who are different. DOgbert: People basically fall into these four groups. ugly smart cute smart ugly stupid cute stupid Dilbert: This is different than I expected. Dogbert: I notice that all of you are in this box here.
Tuesday May 30,
1995
Tags #mandatory training, #business ethics, #save money, #training, #decorate offcie, #taken training, #common sense
Transcript
The Boss asks Dilbert, "Have you taken the mandatory training for business ethics?" Dilbert answers, "No. But if you SAY I did then you'll save some money on training which you can spend to decorate your office." The Boss says, "Luckily, I haven't taken the training myself." Dilbert says, "I hear it's mostly common sense anyway."
Saturday June 10,
1995
Tags #increase budget, #training, #leave the company, #more money, #competitor, #down side
Transcript
Wally stands in front of the Boss's desk. Wally demands, "You've got to increase the budget for training!" The Boss responds, "If I train you, then wouldn't you just leave the company to make more money working for our competitor?" Wally says, "I guess there is a downside." The Boss asks, "And the downside would be . . . ?"