Trying To Work Comic Strips - Page 2

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1000 Results for Trying To Work

View 11 - 20 results for trying to work comic strips. Discover the best "Trying To Work" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2000's comic on:


Tags #18 hour days, #industry, #competitors die trying, #match

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "You've got to work eighteen hours a day to compete in this industry!" Dilbert cunningly says, "Let's just say we work eighteen hours a day. Maybe our competitors will die trying to match us." The Boss asks Dilbert, "Would that work?" Dilbert answers, "It almost worked for us."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2002's comic on:


Tags #nitwit hates ogre, #ogre ate nitwit, #borrow nit iwt, #requisition, #work, #coffee room, #break room, #ogre, #nit wit, #coworkers, #new hires

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Dilbert and Alice are at the coffee machine. Alice says, "My project is being stalled because my nitwit hates my ogre, and my #$&%! won't do any work." Dilbert responds, "My ogre ate my nitwit and my #$&%! is trying to blame me for it." Alice asks, "Do you want to borrow my nitwit?" Dilbert responds, "No, I have a requisition in."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2003's comic on:


Tags #lunch time, #barely came late, #work, #eat, #plaumbing, #read apaper, #non urgency, #moring at offcie, #slacker, #stale job

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"Are you going to lunch?" "Lunch already?" "Sheesh! I barely had time to come late to work, eat breakfast, use the plumbing and read the paper." "You take your non-work seriously." "I'm trying to develop a sense of non-urgency."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 2012's comic on:


Tags #suspicion, #decisons, #office, #options, #blame later, #evil, #record on phone. boss, #work

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Dilbert: I need a decision of this by end of business today. Boss: Which option do you recommend? Dilbert: Nice try, but I'm not falling for it. You're trying to set me up to take the blame later. I want to hear you make a decision, and I'm going to record it on my phone so you don't later deny it. Talk, you evil monster! Talk! All I know for sure is that the other approach wasn't going to work either.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2008's comic on:


Tags #after work, #bar, #date, #drink, #false sense, #group activity, #other people, #safety, #scam, #show up, #suspicious, #trick, #trust

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Dilbert says, "Some of us are going for a drink after work. Would you like to join us?" A woman says, "Nice try, but I know how this scam works." The woman says, "You're trying to lull me into a false sense of activity with a group activity." The woman says, "But we both know the other people will mysteriously never show up." The woman says, "Then it's just you and me on what looks like a date." Dilbert says, "How many people do I have to invite before you believe some of them will show up?" The woman says, "Well, given the disparity in our levels of attractiveness, I'd say thirty-five." Dilbert says, "Can do." The woman says, "Not one other person showed?" Dilbert says, "I only invited women who are more suspicious than you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 2013's comic on:


Tags #pessimism, #telephones, #collaboration tools, #trying to accomplish, #bad acoustics, #speaker phones, #randomly agreed, #better than expected, #crime not committed

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Boss: How'd your call go? Dilbert: Better than I expected. We spent the first 45 minutes trying to get our online collaboration tools to work. Then we couldn't agree on what we were trying to accomplish. I couldn't understand most of the attendees because they were on speakerphones in rooms with bad acoustics. I randomly agreed to a few things, but I don't know what. Boss: I thought you said it went better than you expected. Dilbert: It did. I go into every human encounter expecting to be framed for a crime I didn't commit. Boss: I really need to find a problem I can fix.

Work Harder Than The Competition

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Work Harder Than The Competition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 2014's comic on:


Tags #competitors, #executives, #helicopter, #hypocrisy, #hypocrite, #rich people, #super yacht, #work ethic, #work harder

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CEO: We can only succeed if we work harder than our competitors! Oops, gotta go. My helicopter is here to take me to my massage appointment on my superyacht. Stop staring at me. I only have to work harder than other CEOs.

Carol Juggles Work Plus Family

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Carol Juggles Work Plus Family - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2014's comic on:


Tags #Family, #happiness, #work, #juggle work, #fighting porcupines, #salt mine, #job, #secretary, #business, #psychology

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Dilbert: I don't know how you juggle work plus a family. Carol: Spending time with my family is like fighting porcupines in a salt mine. I come here just to get away from them. Dilbert: So... you like your job? Carol: No, but at least I can go home to get away from it.

Wally Will Work When He Is Dead

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Wally Will Work When He Is Dead - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2015's comic on:


Tags #death, #strategy, #work ethic, #work, #philosophy, #perfect system, #medical

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Coworker: I noticed you don't do much work. Wally: My philosophy is that there will be plenty of time to work when I'm dead. Coworker: But you won't be here to do it. Wally: I guess you don't know what a perfect system looks like.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #work, #google, #big business, #projects, #ideas, #innovation

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CEO: We're borrowing a policy from Google because they are so awesome. You may now use 20% of your workday on your own project ideas. Dilbert: Are you saying we can do 20% less work on our core functions? CEO: No, no. Nothing like that. I'm saying you can work on your own project ideas for 20% of your time. Dilbert: Okay... so... if the 20% doesn't come out of our work hours, where does it come from? Alice: I think he's trying to make us work 20% longer for the same amount of pay. Dilbert; We could just tell people we do it, but not do it. CEO: Same as Google! That's all I'm asking.