Two Computers Comic Strips - Page 2
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Dilbert: Your second paragraph is pointless and confusing. Let's just delete it. Tina: I'm a highly trained technical writer. What makes you think you can do my job better? Dilbert: That might be a trick questions, but I'm pretty sure the answer is paragraph two.
Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a bench. Dilbert says, "I was so poor that all I could afford to eat was two-bean salad." Dogbert replies, "Sounds awful . . ." Dilbert says, "It wasn't that bad . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . Of course, I always smothered it with hundred island dressing."
Dilbert opens his door to two women. One woman says, "Hi, we're with the 'Women's Power Organization.' Do you have a moment?" The woman hits Dilbert in the stomach and his glasses fly off his face. Dilbert lies in the doorway. As they walk away one woman asks, "How many are left?" The other woman replies, "Two billion."
Dilbert holds a tennis racket and tosses a tennis ball. The instructor says, "Good. The toss is the most important part of . . ." Dilbert misses the ball and it bounces on his head. Dilbert brings his racket down on the instructor's head. Dilbert asks, "Is this why you get two serves?"
Dogbert sits on a park bench next to a chef. The chef says, "I haven't been able to get a job in two years." The chef continues, "It's because everybody knows my brother is in jail. People think I must be dishonest too." The chef concludes, "You should not judge a cook by its brother." Dogbert replies, "He probably says the same about you."
Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer and Dogbert sits next to him. Dilbert says, "Knowledge is power, Dogbert." Dilbert continues, "Someday, the people who know how to use computers will rule over those who don't." Dilbert continues, "And they will have a special name for us." Dogbert says, "Secretaries."
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'm putting you on a rotational assignment . . ." The Boss continues, "You will be working in marketing until further notice." Dilbert arrives at the entrance to marketing. A sign over the door says, "Two drink minimum." Everyone inside is wearing a robe and holding a drink.
A clerk in a computer store says to Dilbert, "Laptop computers are outdated. You want our new fingernail models." The laptops on the shelf are on sale for 50 cents. The salesclerk explains, "You glue them permanently to each nail. They sense where each finger is at all times. You don't need a keyboard." The salesman continues, "Of course, some people prefer that their computer not know where their fingers are at all times." The computer says to the clerk, "Dave, about last night . . ."
Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant with a two-headed woman. The woman says, "Our last blind date was intimidated just because we're two-headed and telepathic." Dilbert thinks, "Must clear my mind. Don't think of anything naughty." Dilbert thinks, "Oops." The woman spills her drink.
Zimbu: Your big mistake, evolution wise, was inventing computers that are easier to use if you have a tail. Its an ironic twist in the darwinian saga, You've guaranteed the extinction of your own species. Dilbert: Stop working while In talking to you Zimbu!! Zimbu: I can hear the evolutionary clock...tick tick...tick...tick...