Upadte Shorts Wardrobe Comic Strips - Page 2
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Dilbert says to Wally, "Uh . . . Wally, you're wearing only underwear at work." Wally says, "I'm trying to get fired." Wally explains as the Boss approaches, "The company layoff plan is very generous. I'll get a big pile of money if they ask me to leave." Wally puts his boxer shorts on the Boss's head and says, "This has given me a degree of freedom in dealing with local management."
Dilbert, Wally and Alice stand in front of Dogbert wearing shorts and t-shirts. Dogbert says, "Skeptics say that a company fitness program will not succeed. Let's do some aerobics and see who's right!" Dilbert and the other engineers hit and kick each other as they try to do aerobics. The employees lie in a pile on the floor. Dilbert says, "The skeptics are right." Dogbert replies, "We usually are."
The caption says, "Dilbert special! Bob the Dinosaur will rip the underpants off guys we hate!" Bob pulls the underwear off a man. The caption says, "Case #1." A man smoking a pipe and wearing a turtleneck says, ". . . Bought my first house for 75 cents. Sold it a year later for 400,000 dollars . . ." The man screams as Bob pulls his underwear off. Bob says, "Now he drives a 'Beemer.'" The caption says, "Case #2." A man says, "It's a great movie. You'll be surprised when you find out the parakeet is the murderer." The man screams as Bob pulls off his boxer shorts. Bob says, "I love surprises!" The caption says, "Case #3." A car salesman says, "Wait here and I'll try to convince my boss to sell the car at your price." The man screams when Bob pulls off his underwear. Bob says, "He's on your side!" The caption says, "Finally . . ." Dilbert says, "Only an idiot would thing computers are confusing."
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. Wally says, "It's time now for the Wally Report, a weekly status update." Wally continues, "My income is 80 percent of industry average, enthusiasm is at 63 percent of capacity and my ego shield is holding at 15 percent." Dilbert says, "Your enthusiasm is up from last week." Wally says, "Someone left the supply cabinet unlocked!"
The caption says, "Thermostat wars." Wally stands behind Alice's desk wearing only a tie and his underwear. He says, "Be reasonable, Alice. When it's warm enough for you, it's too hot for normal humans." Wally continues, "Logically, you could wear a sweater. But there's nothing I can do to be less warm. Therefore, you must compromise." Dilbert asks, "Did she buy the argument?" Dilbert is also wearing a tie and boxer shorts. Wally holds a mirror and an electric razor. He replies, "No. But I'm going to shave my back and take another run at it."
Dilbert is dressed in shorts and a t-shirt and carries a Frisbee. He says, "All great ideas look like bad ideas to people who are losers." Dilbert throws the Frisbee while Dogbert watches it float away. Dilbert says, "It's always a good to test a new idea with known losers to make sure they don't like it." Dogbert's Research Co. A man says to a woman, 'What a coincidence. We both lost three homes in flood zones." The woman is in love. Dogbert says, "Let's begin."
"Remember, it's not a pyramid scam, it's a marketing breakthrough!" "The beauty of it is a new recruit is born every minute." "Are we guaranteed to become amazingly wealthy?" "While being our own boss?" "Yes, unless you're lazy or ethical." "Each person you recruit pays you one thousand dollars. The recruits get their own recruits and charge them TWO thousand, and so on." "Eventually, every person on Earth will be giving you money. And that adds up." "You can't argue with the math." "I feel like we're a big family." "The best part is that every person on Earth will get rich!" "Actually, the last recruit kinda gets it in the shorts."
Dogbert dressed in a crown and sceptar stands by Dilbert's computer. Dogbert says, "I need a job where my immense ego seems normal." Dogbert says, "I've decided to be a doctor. I will determine who lives and who dies!" Dogbert is in a doctor's office. He still wears the crown and has a stethoscope around his neck. A man in boxer shorts says, "What? I can't die from an ulcer!" Dogbert says, "Maybe not, but I enjoy the challenge."
Caption: "Dogbert in Hollywood" Dogbert sits at a restaurant table across from a naked movie executive wearing a goatee, glasses and boxer shorts on his head. The mogul says, "I'd like to turn your book into a movie." The executive says, "We have to keep it real, so any normal person can relate to it." Dogbert says, "do you know any normal people?" The movie man says, "No, but I'm willing to watch movies to learn about them."
I need help making unrealistic assumptions to support a business case for a bad idea. "Easy." "There's a hole in the back of our wardrobe closet that leads to a magical world of preposterous business assumptions." "We don't have a wardrobe closet." "Assume we do."