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1000 Results for Wally Needs Help

View 11 - 20 results for wally needs help comic strips. Discover the best "Wally Needs Help" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 1998's comic on:


Tags #project, #needs attention, #meeting, #helper for porject, #engineers, #business

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The Boss, Wally and Alice sit at the conference table. Wally says, "This project needs your complete attention." Alice says, "Wally's right. Forget the other projects and focus on that one." Wally, Alice and Dilbert eat lunch. Dilbert says, "Did I miss anything at the meeting?" Wally says, "We got you a little helper for your project."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 1995's comic on:


Tags #advertisingmaterials, #technical accuracy, #supposed to be funny, #technical help, #look up something, #dictionary, #engineers, #not comedians, #tech help, #picked colors

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The Boss tells Wally and Dilbert, "I'd like you guys to check Anne's advertising materials for technical accuracy." Wally, Dilbert and Anne sit at a conference table. Wally reads the ad copy and asks, "Is this supposed to be funny?" Dilbert says, "I don't get it." Anne says, "I'm only looking for technical help here." Wally says, "Hey! Maybe you could say something about those warning tags on mattresses! Now THAT would be funny!" Anne covers her eyes and leans on the table. Dilbert says, "Or how about the fact that you can't look up something in the dictionary if you can't spell it? THAT's funny!" Anne stands up and screams, "You're engineers, not comedians!! I want TECHNICAL help!!!" Wally says, "This guy has an XP-6. It should be an XP-7." Anne says, "That's better." Wally adds, "And he should be saying, 'I've fallen and I can't get up.'" Dilbert asks, "Who picked these colors?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 27, 2000's comic on:


Tags #cpr dummy, #lie on back, #mouth open, #your help

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Catbert says to Wally, "Wally, we can't find our CPR dummy. I need your help." Wally asks, "Finding it?" Catbert says to Wally, "Yes. Assuming you can do that while lying on your back with your mouth open."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 2001's comic on:


Tags #wally in jail, #try door, #guards dont lock, #lifers, #most embarrassed

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Dilbert approaches Dogbert and asks, "Wally's in jail. Can you help get him out?" Dogbert answers, "Tell him to try the door. The guards only pretend to lock them." Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit in the break room eating lunch. Wally says, "But I'd have to say it was the lifers who were the most embarassed."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2004's comic on:


Tags #no written objectives, #free to help, #personal philosophy

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wally: I'm cruising into my fifth month with no written objectives. some philosophers would say that having no objectives means Im free to help any team that asks. Wally: My personal philosophy is more along the lines of hiding.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2005's comic on:


Tags #help alice, #tried working harder, #become dependant

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Wally, I want you to go help Alice on her project." "Have you tried working harder? Sometimes thta works." "I hope she doesn't become dependent on my help."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2005's comic on:


Tags #help alice, #work harder, #expect to happen

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The Boss: Wally, I asked you to help Alice on her project but all you did was tell her to work harder." "You can't just tell someone to work harder and expect it to happen!"" Wally: "Aren't you doing that right now?" The Boss: "Shut up and go work harder."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2011's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #social network, #stategy, #global supply chain

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Wally says, "I can't help you because I'm busy working on a social network strategy for our global supply chain." Man says, "That sounds like something that no one wants and no one needs." Wally says, "That's probably why it's taking so long."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2007's comic on:


Tags #help alice, #argument, #team work, #control killing

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Wally: My accomplishment this week was helping Alice finish her project in a timely manner." Alice: "You didn't do anything to help me." Wally: "Sure I did." "Remember when I came to your cubicle to ask for some data I need for my project?" "You said you were too busy, and shooed me away." Alice: "If I had insisted on doing my job, you would have had less time to do yours." Wally: "It's called teamwork." "Are we still big on that?" Alice: "Must control...First...Of...Death."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2007's comic on:


Tags #favor, #comments, #article, #go away, #wait util tomorrow, #hope, #worthless, #extra work, #worsen results, #ignoring needs

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Tina: "Wally, can I get your comments on my article by tomorrow?" Wally: "Sure." Tina: "You say, 'sure,' but we both know it's a lie." "You just want me to go away." "You plan to wait until tomorrow and make an excuse." "Then you'll hope I'll give up." Wally: "Yes, but remember, my comments are always worthless, they would cause you extra work and worsen the result." "So if I give you nothing. Everyone wins." Tina: "In that case, thank you for ignoring my needs." Wally: "It's the least I could do."