Weaker Applicants Comic Strips - Page 2
17 Results for Weaker Applicants
View 11 - 17 results for weaker applicants comic strips. Discover the best "Weaker Applicants" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share August 21, 2000's comic on:
Handing the candidate a sheet of paper the Boss asks, "If I hired you how would you respond to something like this?" The candidate reads the paper and replies, "I usully ignore chain letters." The Boss says, "Let's try another." Carol asks the Boss, "Did you finish your in-basket?" The Boss answers, "No, I'll need a few more applicants?
Share March 10, 2005's comic on:
Wally: "Have you ever noticed that the things that don't kill you make you weaker?" "And great minds don't think alike. If they did, the patent office would only have about fifty inventions." "I started getting suspicious when I cried over spilt milk and the cashier took it off my bill"
Share January 30, 2007's comic on:
Dogbert: I analyzed the DNA of all of your applicants to find the best fit for the job. The most qualified applicant who is willing to work for you has three ears, a snout, and a life expectancy of Thursday." The Boss: Dilbert, meet the new guy. And do it quickly." cough cough
Share April 02, 2010's comic on:
Dilbert says, "I need training to use our new software." The Boss says, "Pretend we have a job opening for a technical expert in that field. Then ask applicants how they would do whatever it is that you need to do." Man says, "Does you company provide training?" Dilbert says, "'Provide' is a strong word."
Share March 06, 2005's comic on:
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "I need to hire an assistant manager." "I want someone similar to me, but slightly worse in every way." "Worse than you??" "Yes, but only slightly." "The ideal candidate wouldn't be a threat to replace me." "I'll check my database of applicants who are both hideous and criminally insane." "I said slightly worse." "Exactly. I found one." "I can pretend to read in five languages." "I hate cats."
Share November 23, 2003's comic on:
CatBert: "The new batch of job applicants is more desperate than usual." "Excellent." The Boss: "Five hundred qualified people applied for this position." "Who wants this job the most?" "I plan to pummel each applicant with a variety of objects, beginning with very soft items." "Then I'll gradually move toward harder materials until only one person is left." "I'll begin with this soft sugar doughnut." "ZING. PIFF!" "Thank you." CAtBert: "How are theur attitudes?" "Refreshingly upbeat!"
Share October 01, 2014's comic on:
Boss: I can tell a lot from an applicant's storytelling skills. So tell me a story. Man: Last week, I broke into a morgue and took a selfie with a dead guy. But in my defense, I was super drunk. Boss: I hired a new salesperson.