Worlds Smartest Garbageman Comic Strips - Page 2

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84 Results for Worlds Smartest Garbageman

View 11 - 20 results for worlds smartest garbageman comic strips. Discover the best "Worlds Smartest Garbageman" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 2012's comic on:


Tags #competitors, #gadgets, #motorcycle, #smartphone, #threat, #worlds greatest

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Dilbert: I've created the world's greatest smartphone. Boss: Wow. This is so amazing that I'll need to kill you so our competitors never learn how to imitate it. Dilbert: Or you could give me a huge bonus. Boss: Okay, sure. I'll have a guy on a motorcycle attach it to your car.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #garbageman, #man, #woman

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Dilbert: the bio world dome is now sealed you must live off its resources for two years. The edible plants were delivered just before the dome was sealed. They are the key to your survival. Garbageman: Can somebody open the delivery door? I've got some plants outside.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dogberts talk radio, #smartest creature, #dolts, #taking calls, #understand complex, #crossfire

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Dogbert sits in a radio DJ booth wearing earphones and speaking into a microphone. He says, "I'm the smartest creature in the universe and you are all dolts." Dogbert continues, "Today I'm taking calls from people who think they understand complex issues because they watch 'Crossfire' on CNN." A caller says, ". . . So why not put all poor people in orphanages?" With his paw on the control panel, Dogbert says, "Put your head up to the speaker, Bob."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 1996's comic on:


Tags #marilyn vos savant, #smartest human alive, #often flier program, #phone comapny, #who saves most?, #brain scarred

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Dilbert sits at a table with stacks of brochures in front of him. Dogbert stands on the table and says, "This is Marilyn Vos Savant, the smartest human alive." A woman stands behind Dogbert. Dogbert says, "She will help you understand your airline 'Often Flier' program." Marilyn looks at a brochure and says, "I'm stumped." Dilbert asks, "After this, could you tell me which phone company saves me the most money?" Marilyn replies, "My brain's trying to escape; you scared it." Her brain crawls out her ear.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 1997's comic on:


Tags #task force, #recruit, #smartest college seniors, #lie often, #real life experince, #meetings, #parties

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The Boss tels Dilbert, "You'll be on the task force to recruit the smartest college seniors to work here." The Boss says, "Remember, don't lie often. And don't mock them for their lack of real life experience." The college student, unshaven, says, "so you're saying meetings are just like parties?" Dilbert replies, "Well, I'm not allowed to say orgy..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 1998's comic on:


Tags #digital archive, #worlds greatest art, #fix the errors, #artists, #errors, #too much blue

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The boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at the conference table. The boss says, "We won the bid to create a digital archive of the world's greatest art." The boss says, "This will give us a chance to fix any errors made by the artists." Wally says, "Errors?" The boss says, "For example, there was a guy who used too much blue for a whole period."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 1998's comic on:


Tags #digitized, #indexed, #worlds greatest art, #last supper, #composition cluttered, #delete, #replace, #clip art, #bagels

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Dilbert sits at his computer. The boss stands. Dilbert says, "We've digitized and indexed the world's greatest art. This is 'The Last Supper.'" The boss says, "Nice but..." The boss says, "The composition is cluttered. Delete a few of those guys. Do you have any clip art of bagels?" The boss says, "Do they look happy?" Dilbert says, "Compared to me, yes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 1999's comic on:


Tags #successful project, #job eliminated, #smartest thing, #fail miserably, #clear strategy

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A woman (Tina ?) stands in the boss's office. She says, "I just realized that if my project is a success, my job will be eliminated." She says, "The smartest thing to do is to fail miserably and blame it all on your indecisiveness." She says, "I'm happy because I have a clear strategy!" The boss thinks, "I haven't nodded in a while."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 2001's comic on:


Tags #dating beautiful woman, #Advice, #garbageman, #exciting, #mysterious, #delightful, #like fresh garbage, #compost

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Dilbert is handing his trash to The Garbageman. Dilbert says, "I'm dating a beautiful woman. Do you have any advice?" The Garbageman stuffs the trash into the can and responds, "A beautiful woman is like a heap of fresh garbag: exciting, mysterious, and delightful." Dilbert asks, "Do you have any advice that doesn't compare my girlfriend to garbage?" The Garbageman replies, "How about compost?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 2002's comic on:


Tags #chosen to design, #worlds safest nuclear plant, #great assignment, #safe, #not near my house

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "Dilbert, you have been chosen to design the world's safest nuclear power plant." Dilbert replies, "This is the greatest assignment that any engineer could hope for. I'm flattered by the trust you have in me." The Boss responds, "By 'safe' I mean 'not near my house.'"