Yesterdays Lottery Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

18 Results for Yesterdays Lottery

View 11 - 18 results for yesterdays lottery comic strips. Discover the best "Yesterdays Lottery" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bet, #billion to one, #dance, #immature, #join pool, #lottery pool, #office pool, #rational person, #longshot

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his computer. Wally approaches from behind and asks, "Do you want to join the lottery pool?" Dilbert responds, "No." Dilbert continues, "No rational person would put money on a billion-to-one longshot." Wally says, "You will." Dilbert responds, "No, I won't." Wally says, "I'll bet a hundred dollars that you will." Dilbert responds, "You're on." Wally says, "If you don't join the pool, and we win, I will come to your putrid cubicle and do this dance." Dilbert watches as Wally snaps his fingers and sings, "Ay-yi-yi, hoo-wah-hoo! I'm filthy rich and you're a loser!" Dilbert leans back a bit as Wally leans forward and positions his rear end near Dilbert's face. Wally sings, "HOO-AH! HOO-AH!" Alice, Asok, and Wally convene in the hallway. Alice asks, "Who won the $100 Dilbert pool?" Wally responds, "Whoever picked thirty seconds."

Ai Too Stupid To Be Dangerous

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ai Too Stupid To Be Dangerous - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intelligence, #inventions, #robot, #technology, #Lottery, #humans, #smart

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Are you worried that the A.I. you created will take over the world? Dilbert: No, I modeled it after human intelligence so it won't be smart enough. Robot: Buwhahahahaha! I will buy lottery tickets and use my winnings to take over the world! Asok: Good luck.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #gloating, #quit working, #won lotery, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: If you won the lottery, would you quit working? Wally: I quit working years ago, but I might start gloating if it isn't too hard. Dilbert: Gloating doesn't sound hard. Wally: Can I do it without moving any facial muscles? I have weak eyebrows.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #difference, #entire day, #hamster on wheel, #new assignements, #finish work, #explaining

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I spent the entire day getting new assignments which left no time to actually work on anything. Dilbert: Tomorrow I'll spend the entire day explaining why I didn't finish yesterdays work. Sometimes I don't know the difference between me and hamster on a wheel. Dogbert: Hamsters dont depress me.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #product designer, #function, #design, #everything, #quality, #news, #emotional impact, #hard to look at

View Transcript

Transcript

"Product designer" Dogbert: "Function means nothing. Design is everything." "Quality is yesterday's news. Today we focus on the emotional impact of the product." Dilbert: "But it still needs quality, right?" Dogbert: "You are so-o-o-o hard to look at."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Welcome to Dogbert's Retirement Planning Seminar. "Don't tell anyone that you retired. Just keep coming to work and collecting money for the weekly lottery pool. Then spend it on food." "I want my dollar back."

Wally Teaches Success

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Teaches Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #success, #luck, #money, #winning, #mentor, #Advice

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Can you mentor me on how to be successful? Wally: Your best strategy is a combination of lying and being related to rich people. Asok: What is the second-best strategy? Wally: Crime is second. Winning a lottery is third.

Training Kicked In

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Training Kicked In  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bathroom, #boring, #business, #face mask, #meeting, #sarcasm, #technology, #training, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: that slide deck in yesterday's meeting was lethally boring. luckily, all of my training kicked in. dilbert: and that training taught you to...? wally: go to the bathroom and never return.