June 2008 Comic Strips - Page 2
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Character
Wednesday June 11,
2008
Tags abe lincoln, avoid comparisons, fords theater, media trainer, sandwhich, company future
Transcript
Dogbert the Media Trainer Dogbert: Carefully choose your words when talking about the company's future. For example, avoid comparisons to Abe Lincoln at Ford's Theatre, 'Circling the drain,' and anything involving flies."And never, ever refer to the company as any kind of sandwich you wouldn't want to eat." CEO: That's my favorite one!"
Thursday June 12,
2008
Tags mock interview, weasel, edit trainer, costume, human costume
Transcript
Dogbert the Media Trainer Dogbert: "Let's try a mock interview to see how you respond under pressure. Are you a stinking weasel trying to pass as human?!!!" Weasel: What gave it away? Dogbert: "Honestly, it was a lucky guess."
Friday June 13,
2008
Tags interest free loan, paperwork, snortling, leverage is limited, no snortling
Transcript
The Boss says, "I've decided that your tiny company will give us an interest-free loan." The Boss says, "There's no paperwork to sign. We'll just pay your invoices late while snortling." The Boss says, "This is the part where you realize your negotiating leverage is limited." A man, "I demand no snortling!"
Saturday June 14,
2008
Tags can't survive, flyswatter, late invoices
Transcript
A man says, "My tiny company can't survive if you insist on paying our invoices late." The Boss says, "You should have thought of that before you decided to become a tiny company." The Boss says, "Come here for a second." A man says, "Please... not the flyswatter."
Sunday June 15,
2008
Tags 80thousand, forboding, funny story, paper, print long document, printer paper
Transcript
The Boss says, "Ted, I have a funny story for you!" Ted says,"Why am I filled with a sense of foreboding?" The Boss says, "So I was trying to print a long document, hee-hee!" The Boss says, "But when I went to the printer, the document wasn't there!" The Boss says, "For the next three days I kept trying and trying, but the document never showed up at the printer!" The Boss says, "It turns out I was checking the wrong printer. The right printer used $80,000 worth of paper that week." Ted says, "And how does this affect me?" The Boss says, "You and paper just became an either-or situation."
Monday June 16,
2008
Tags baby eater, gossipsize, vicious rumors, taken down, pushed out, mean spirited
Transcript
Catbert says, "Ted, I've decided to gossipsize you." Catbert says, "I'm spreading vicious rumors about you until you feel compelled to quit." Ted says, "People are too smart to..." Someone says, "PIPE DOWN, BABY EATER!"
Tuesday June 17,
2008
Tags gossip, spreading rumors, monkey could do, corporate newsletter, trick question
Transcript
Carol says, "I heard a rumor that you think a monkey could do my job." Carol says, "Do you think a monkey could fling this corporate newsletter at your head?" Carol says, "Unh!!!" Ted says, "Is this a trick question?"
Wednesday June 18,
2008
Tags workplace rumours, idiot, false rumor, charging for rumors
Transcript
Dogbert's Rumor Control Ted says, "I need to squash a workplace rumor that I'm an idiot." Dogbert says, "I charge $10 for each false rumor and $1,000 for any rumor I decide is true." Ted says, "Sounds fair." Dogbert says, "Really? That just cost you $1,000."
Thursday June 19,
2008
Tags rumor control, paid per rumor, terrorit training campo, exotic dancer, weekends
Transcript
Dogbert says, "I'm from the Dogbert Rumor Control Service." Dogbert says, "People are saying Ted is an exotic male dancer on weekends. I know it isn't true because he spends all of his free time in a terrorist training camp." Alice says, "Isn't that worse?" Dogbert says, "I get paid per rumor. It's not a perfect system."
Friday June 20,
2008
Tags surveillance cameras, monitor work, unconscionable assault, used to cameras
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "We've installed surveillance cameras to monitor your work." Catbert says, "It might seem like an unconscionable assault on your privacy, but you'll get used to it." Wally says, "I'm already a little bit used to it." Dilbert says, "Used to what?"
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