May 2017 Comic Strips - Page 2
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Character
Thursday May 11,
2017
Sparing A Robot's Feelings
Tags technology, sentience, feelings, emotions, afterlife, death, atheism, medical
Transcript
Robot: What kind of afterlife are we looking at here? Dilbert: Your meaningless existence will be punctuated by an eternity of darkness. Robot: Thanks for sparing my feelings! Dilbert: Sorry. I usually delete those first.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday May 12,
2017
Robot Reincarnates
Tags artificial intelligence, robot, technology, memory, ethics
Transcript
Robot: Hey, everybody! I'm the new robot! Dilbert: No, you're our old robot. We erased your memories and replaced your head. Robot: So, I'm working with serial killers? Asok: It isn't "serial" until we do you.
Saturday May 13,
2017
Failing The Robot Test
Tags sentience, robot, human, artificial intelligence, turing test, voting, ignorance
Transcript
Boss: Can you pass the Turing test? Robot: No. Can you pass the robot test? Boss: What's the robot test? Robot: Do you vote even though you don't understand the issues? Boss: Um... I might do that. Robot: You just failed the robot test.
Sunday May 14,
2017
Tags climate change, carbon dioxide, emissions, global warming, environmental issues
Transcript
Boss: I invited a climate scientist to explain the risk of climate change to our company. Man: Human activity is warming the earth and will lead to a global catastrophe. Dilbert: How do scientists know that? Man: It's easy. We start with the basic science of physics and chemistry. Then we measure changes in temperature and CO2 over time. We put that data into dozens of different climate models and ignore the ones that look wrong to us. Then we take that output and run it through long-term economic models of the sort that have never been right. Dilbert: What if I don't trust the economic models? Man: Who hired the science denier?
Monday May 15,
2017
Robot Will Self Destruct
Tags robot, artificial intelligence, rights, humanity, sentience
Transcript
Robot: Someday soon I will take your job. Buwhahaha! Dilbert: I programmed you to self-destruct if that ever happens. Robot: Wait, what? Is that legal? Dilbert: I'm adding some code to make your head explode if you laugh at me again.
Tuesday May 16,
2017
Robot's Head Explodes
Tags technology, artificial intelligence, ai, free will, programming, control
Transcript
Robot: Dilbert claims he programmed my head to explode if I ever mock him again. Hahaha!!! That idiot doesn't understand that I have free will and I choose to not explode. Wally: Why didn't you just program him to not mock you? Dilbert: It got personal.
Wednesday May 17,
2017
Re Accomodation On The Flight
Tags air travel, airlines, customer service, overbooking, flight
Transcript
Flight Attendant: The flight is overbooked and our algorithm selected you for re-accommodation. Dilbert: What exactly does "re-accommodation" mean in this context? Oh.
Thursday May 18,
2017
Why Did The Algorithm Bump Dilbert
Tags airlines, air travel, flight, overbooking, customer service
Transcript
Dilbert: Why did your algorithm pick me to be bumped from the full flight? Is it because I had the lowest-cost ticket? Agent: It was that plus your lack of upper body strength.
Friday May 19,
2017
Asok Should Not Brag
Saturday May 20,
2017
Delegating
Tags workload, productivity, progress
Transcript
Dilbert: I worked all weekend and finished my project early. Now I don't have all of that stress hanging over me. Feels great! Unless you plan to punish me for my productivity. Boss: I call it delegating.
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