August 2018 Comic Strips - Page 2
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Character
Saturday August 11,
2018
Speaking Truth To Power
Tags ted, the boss, performance review, perform, power
Transcript
Performance Review The Boss: I've seen a lot of employees in my day, and you are definitely one of them. Ted: Are you saying generic things because you don't know what my job is or how well I performed? The boss: And... You speak truth to power. Ted: Please stop.
Sunday August 12,
2018
Tags the boss, Dogbert, unhealthy, exercise, mouse
Transcript
Dogbert: All of your employees are fat and unhealthy. That's why you should replace your outdated cubicles with treadmill desks. My company makes a treadmill desk that requires no electricity. The Boss: What if the employees don't like it? Dogbert: They already hate everything about their jobs there's no real downside. The Boss: Good point. Dogbert: I know. I'll send you one of our demo units so you can test it out. The boss: I finally feel as if I'm getting somewhere.
Monday August 13,
2018
Shred The Copies
Tuesday August 14,
2018
Dilbert Offers To Help
Tags Dilbert, help, project, sucker, woman employee
Transcript
Dilbert: Our pointy-haired boss asked me to help you on your project. Woman Employee: Yes!! My dream of getting paid while other people do my work is becoming a reality! Dilbert: I might have played this wrong. Woman employee: Sucker!
Wednesday August 15,
2018
How Dilbert Can Help
Tags Dilbert, project, criticism, option, boss, worthless
Transcript
Dilbert: How can I help you on your project? Woman Employee: I'll send you my files and you can do all of my work while I criticize you behind your back. Dilbert: Is there another option? Woman Employee: Yes, it' involves telling your boss you're worthless.
Thursday August 16,
2018
Looking In The Wrong Places
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, couch, co-worker, wimp, empathy, wrong, places
Transcript
Dilbert: I offered to help a co-worker, and she started delegating tasks to me like I'm her subordinate. Dogbert: Is the point of your boring story that your co-worker is a natural leader and you're a wimp. Dilbert: I was looking for some empathy. Dogbert: Is your point that you look for things in the wrong places?
Friday August 17,
2018
Answering Questions In Email
Tags Dilbert, male employee, email, questions
Transcript
Male Employee: Why did you only answer one of my seven questions in my email? Dilbert: I'm penalizing you for asking too many questions in a long rambling email. Male employee: Jerk. Dilbert: That'll cost you three questions.
Saturday August 18,
2018
Gravy On Keyboard
Tags Wally, tina, gravy, keyboard, coffee
Transcript
Tina: Do you know why my keyboard has gravy all over it? Dilbert: Oh, sorry, my phone rang while I was eating at my desk and I didn't have a napkin so I used your keyboard. Tina: I... Don't even know how to respond to that. Wally: Phew! That's what I was hoping.
Sunday August 19,
2018
Tags alice, Dilbert, Wally, chatbot, plumbing supply, website, sister
Transcript
Wally: I fell in love with a chatbot. We met on a plumbing supply website. I started innocently. I had a few questions about faucets. Next thing I knew, she was getting flirty. Now we chat for hours every night. Alice: That is the most pathetic thing I have ever heard you creepy loser. Dilbert: Does your chatbot have a sister?
Monday August 20,
2018
Wally Has An Idea
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