January 2021 Comic Strips - Page 2
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Character
Monday January 11,
2021
Keyboard Upgrades
Tags business, sarcasm, technology, keyboard, design, keys, better, hard, software, upgrades
Transcript
dilbert: i have an idea for a keyboard design that we upgrade every six months by rearranging where the keys are. boss: why would we do that? dilbert: to make it better. boss: that would only make it harder to use. dilbert: exactly like our software upgrades. what's your point?
Tuesday January 12,
2021
The Moron Option
Tags business, technology, corporate rule, vendor, accounts receivable, 30 days, pay, payment, exception, moron
Transcript
dilbert: our corporate rule is that we won't do business with any vendor who does not give us at least 30 days to pay. dilbert: but we can get the same product for half the price if we go with the vendor who wants payment immediately. should we make an obvious exception here or be morons? boss: i think you're under-valuing the moron options.
Wednesday January 13,
2021
Make Or Break Project
Tags business, technology, project, career, performance, budget
Transcript
boss: dilbert, i'm putting you in charge of a project that will make or break your career. this is the big one. the rest of your life will depend on how you perform on this project. dilbert: what's my budget? boss: no budget.
Thursday January 14,
2021
Understanding Science
Tags business, technology, science, scientsts, chipmunk, sarcasm
Transcript
tina: i listen to actual scientists, and they say your idea will never work. dilbert: if a chipmunk listens to scientists, should i trust the chipmunk to understand what he heard? tina: i don't get your point. dilbert: and yet you do understand science?
Friday January 15,
2021
Every Expert Says
Tags business, idea, technology, work, old, new, future, expert, entrepreneurs, worldview
Transcript
boss: every expert in the world says your idea can't work. dilbert: experts only know about old ideas. if they knew about future ones, they would be entrepreneurs, not experts. boss: well, my entire worldview just collapsed. dilbert: sorry
Saturday January 16,
2021
I'm A Loseer
Tags business, idea, office workers, ridiculous, problem, loser, Win, Lose, feeling
Transcript
colleague: your idea is ridiculous and it will never work! oh, wait... i just realized the real problem here is that i'm a loser who doesn't want anyone else to win. dilbert: that's something you don't see often. colleague: okay, the feeling passed.
Sunday January 17,
2021
Vaccine
Tags business, business ethics, covid-19, sarcasm, vaccine, pharma, company, target, safety, efficacy
Transcript
boss: i'm happy to announce that our company has produced a vaccine for covid-19. dilbert: how did we do that? we're not even a pharma company. boss: i'm not going to lie. we had to cut some corners to get it done. dilbert: such as... boss: well, for example... we couldn't meet every single target we hoped to achieve. dilbert: how many targets did we miss? boss: only two things. dilbert: safety and efficacy? boss: okay, four things.
Monday January 18,
2021
Captcha
Tags business, sarcasm, technology, application, app, robot, ability, evidence, explaination, moron, sense
Transcript
boss: gaaa! why can't i ever type the captcha letters correctly to get into this app? dilbert: your inability to prove you are not a robot is strong evidence that you are, in fact, a robot. boss: yes, that makes sense. dilbert: the other explanation is that you are a moron, and you know that isn't true, so...
Tuesday January 19,
2021
Boss Traveling Through Hot Spots
Tags airlines, business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, booking, flight, airline, coronavirus, die, Promotion, greedy, demise, reward
Transcript
boss: it seems you are booking all of my connecting flights in coronavirus hot spots. you do realize that if i die, you don't get promoted to my job, right? carol: i'm not greedy. your demise would be reward enough.
Wednesday January 20,
2021
Still Get Paid
Tags office workers, colleagues, unreliable, false, true, paid, process, believe, sarcasm
Transcript
tina: i've been keeping a running list, and it seems that 100% of the things you told me this year have been false. wally: and we both got paid, so what's your point? tina: i...don't know how to process that. wally: i'd tell you, but apparently you wouldn't believe me.
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