Sign Papers Comic Strips - Page 20
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Character
209 Results for Sign Papers
View 191 - 200 results for sign papers comic strips. Discover the best "Sign Papers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday November 06,
2013
Tags #computer software, #frustration, #internet & world wide web, #syoe, #shut down, #quit, #drown it
Transcript
Alice: Okay, Skype. Let's see if I can figure out how to shut you down. Close! Quit! Sign out! Minimize! Quit! Yes! Close! Quit! Die! Die! Die! Dilbert: Did you close Skype. Alice: Almost. I'm heading to the ocean to drown it.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday February 14,
2014
Tags #anger, #competition (psychology), #employees, #difficult coworkers, #methods against me, #need to know, #counter neasures, #learn tricks, #business
Transcript
Alice: Can I sign up for a workshop on how to deal with difficult co-workers? People will be using those methods against me, and I need to know how to thwart their countermeasures. Boss: Will you leave my office if I say yes? Alice: Where did you learn that trick?!!
Friday February 28,
2014
Tags #frustration, #work ethic, #drink lots of coffee, #disrespect authority, #reading my goals, #before signing, #accomplish stuff, #feels good
Transcript
Boss: For some reason, your written goals for last year were "Drink lots of coffee" and "Disrespect authority." Wally: Maybe next year your goal should be something about reading my goals before you sign them. Accomplishing stuff feels good. You should try it.
Thursday June 19,
2014
Tags #lying, #non disclosure agreement, #disbelief, #wrong person, #mighty judgy, #so many secrets
Transcript
Man: I need you to sign a non-disclosure agreement before we start. Wally: We don't need that because no one believes a word I say anyway. Man: Maybe I'm meeting with the wrong person. Wally: You're mighty judgy for a guy with so many secrets.
Wednesday July 23,
2014
Tags #executives, #respect, #prototype, #economical, #mental illness, #level conscious
Transcript
CEO: Your prototype will never economical. Dilbert: Certainty about the future is a sign of mental illness. CEO: Try to be more level-conscious. Dilbert: Yes, Your Highness.
Tuesday October 07,
2014
Tags #anecdotal evidence, #curiosity, #metaphors, #sayings, #nimble intellect, #compelling, #curiosity killed cat
Transcript
Dilbert: They say curiosity is a sign of a nimble intellect. Boss: Curiosity killed the cat. Dilbert: That evidence was anecdotal, but I still found it compelling.
Friday March 27,
2015
Wally Won't Oversupply Wisdom
Tags #economist, #Promotion, #jargon, #babble, #deception, #smart people, #obliviousness
Transcript
Boss: Our CEO wants to promote you to Chief Economist because nothing you say makes sense. He thinks that's the sign of a great economist. Wally: It totally is. Boss: Say something smart. Wally: Whoa! I don't want to create an oversupply of wisdom.
Sunday October 04,
2015
Tags #antisocial, #conversation, #uncomfortable, #awkward, #Women, #technology, #discussion
Transcript
Tina: It is hard to be a woman in this industry. Dilbert: I'll let you take this one. Wally: Got it. I'm short, bald, and nearsighted. I have no ambition, and I have all the sign of being a sociopath. I am unattractive and too old for the tech industry., I am shaped like a sad turnip and I do not make people laugh. Alice: What are you hens clucking about now? Tina: I can't begin to tell you how much I want to change the subject.
Wednesday April 13,
2016
Don't Read Long Emails
Tags #email, #tldr, #communication, #assumption, #honesty
Transcript
Man: You didn't answer my email. Dilbert: I don't read long email messages. Long emails are a sign of a disorganized mind. I try to avoid contact with that sort of person. Man: And yet, here I am. Dilbert: I didn't say it works every time.
Saturday July 09,
2016
Ted Has Fly Brain
Tags #greeting card, #sick, #brain damage, #marketing, #advertising, #mindless, #business, #medical
Transcript
Carol: Sign this card for Ted. A fly went up his nose and laid eggs in his brain. Dilbert: Is he coming back to work? Carol: We think he'll live out his days in Marketing.