2017 Comic Strips - Page 20
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Character
Thursday July 06,
2017
Asok Can't Take Immersive Vr Seat
Tags virtual reality, vr, reality, physical, illusion
Transcript
Boss: That seat is taken by Kevin, our new immersive VR employee. Asok: But... I'm a physical person. Boss: Did you just insult Kevin's corporeal identity? Asok: I don't see how that's a problem. Kevin: I can't work in this hostile environment.
Friday July 07,
2017
Attending A Meeting For Kevin
Tags virtual reality, sexual harrassment, real, fantasy, imagination
Transcript
Boss: Can you attend a meeting for Kevin, our new immersive VR employee? Dilbert: Why can't Kevin do it? Boss: Alice needed him for something. Alice: Good. Now do it again, but without your shirt. Kevin: I'm not comfortable with this.
Saturday July 08,
2017
Immersive Vr Employee Quits
Tags virtual reality, civil rights, discrimination, artificial intelligence, rights
Transcript
Boss: Our immersive VR employee quit. He's suing the company for discriminating against digitally rendered people. Catbert: Is it too late to kill him? Boss: I tried, but he cloned himself to cloud storage.
Sunday August 06,
2017
Tags greed, scavenging, cannibal, furniture, energy, vibes, health
Transcript
Alice: My chair is broken. I need a new one. Boss: You can take Ted's chair. I fired him this morning. Alice: That feels icky. Boss: It's just a chair. Alice: Ted was a creepy underperformer. I don't want his loser energy on me. Boss: That's your only option unless I fire someone else today. Alice: Okay, give me an hour to do some back-stabbing and rumor-mongering. Boss: I'll just let that situation work itself out. Alice: Nice chair. Dilbert: Why did my fight-or-flight instinct just kick in?
Monday July 10,
2017
Do Whatever The Data Says
Tags study, analysis, decision, conclusions, bias, science
Transcript
Boss: I need you to do a financial analysis on upgrading our customer tracking software. Dilbert: What conclusion do you want me to reach? Boss: We'll do whatever the data says. Dilbert: Which is...? Boss: I already bought the upgrade.
Tuesday July 11,
2017
Unethical Assumptions
Tags money, ethics, misleading, finances, budget
Transcript
Boss: Your financial projection doesn't support my preferred strategy. Maybe you could tweak the discount rate to 40%. Dilbert: You're asking me to be unethical. Boss: Only with your assumptions.
Wednesday July 12,
2017
Getting The Wrong Answer
Tags budget, spending, Advice, money
Transcript
Dilbert: As you can see from my financial projections, doing a major upgrade now would be unwise. Boss: I need to spend my entire budget this year so they won't give me a smaller budget next year. Dilbert: It seems you have wasted my time. Boss: It's not my fault you got the wrong answer.
Thursday July 13,
2017
Home Speaker Prototype
Tags technology, robot, speaker, invention, sentience
Transcript
Boss: I need you to design a home speaker that can compete with Amazon Alexa and Google Home. How long before you'll have a prototype? Dilbert: Give me fifteen minutes. Robot: Would I be living with a human family in this scenario? Dilbert: Only your head.
Friday July 14,
2017
The Cia Is Listening
Tags technology, speaker, alexa, google, amazon, spying, surveillace, paranoid, privacy
Transcript
Robot: Hello. I am a bluetooth speaker and your digital assistant. How may I help you? Man: Just shut up and sit there until I need something. Robot: Did you say" Give the CIA access to your microphone?" Man: Please, no. I'll do anything you want.


