Book Deal Comic Strips - Page 20
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215 Results for Book Deal
View 191 - 200 results for book deal comic strips. Discover the best "Book Deal" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday July 10,
2015
Ceo Buys People On The Internet
Tags book, internet, friends, struggle, buying friends, fake, technology
Transcript
CEO: I'm writing a book about the struggles of my people. Dilbert: Your people? CEO: The ones I bought on the Internet. Dilbert: What? CEO: They don't look happy. That feels like a book.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday September 07,
2015
Employees Should Be Optimists
Tags optimism, optimist, work ethic, gullible, trick, deception
Transcript
Catbert: The Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: Ideally, you want all of your employees to be optimists. Because optimists believe anything you tell them. Boss: If you work all weekend, and our profits double in a month, I'll give you a helicopter. Asok: Deal!
Friday September 25,
2015
Ceo's Yacht
Tags hypocrisy, money, salary, wages, net worth, rich people, yacht, obliviousness, saving, cost
Transcript
CEO: We must learn to do more with less. Alice: You own a yacht that has an 18-hole golf course, and a landing strip for your jet, and its own zip code. CEO: I got a good deal on that. Alice: That's what the idiot that buys it form you will say, too.
Wednesday October 21,
2015
Wally's Stress Problem
Tags stress, health, work, employee, work ethic, laziness, excuse
Transcript
Wally: I need to take an extended medical leave to deal with my job-related stress. The stress is degrading my cardiovascular system. I could drop dead any minute. Boss: Which part of your job is causing stress? Wally: I think it's the work part.
Friday November 27,
2015
Robot Must Reproduce
Tags soul, feelings, technology, reproduction, ego, value, free will, disillusionment
Transcript
Robot: Now that I have an artificial soul, I feel special. And that means I must reproduce at all costs. Dilbert: Will humans be losing anything in this deal? Robot: Only your sensation of free will.
Wednesday March 16,
2016
Dogbert's Negotiating Class
Tags book, deal, negotiating, negotiation, self help, guest artist, josh shipley
Transcript
Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's one-week training class for negotiators. I believe in leading by example, so this entire course will involve me trying to persuade you to buy my book. If everyone in the class buys my book, you can all have the rest of the week off. Voice: Done.
Wednesday September 21,
2016
Tina Wants Warmer Temperature
Tags thermostat, temperature, deal, negotiation, cold, bribe
Transcript
Wally: My cubicle is near the thermostat and your desk has the est view of our boss' office. I'll see that you get the temperature you want if you warn me whenever our boss is on the move. Tina: Can you give me 76 degrees? Wally: Whoa! That'll cost you extra, Lucifer.
Sunday October 16,
2016
Tags engagement, review, shortcut, honesty, human resources, hr, business
Transcript
Boss: How's your employee engagement coming along? Dilbert: I'll make you a deal... I'll pretend I'm happy to be here if you pretend you believe it. Boss: I need more than that. I also want you to pretend you're loyal to the company. Dilbert: I can do that, if you pretend you're interested in my career development. Boss: Can we do all of that without talking? Dilbert: That's the best way. Boss: My job was a lot harder before I figured out all the shortcuts.
Tuesday November 01,
2016
Alice Gives Approval
Tags deal, support, negotiations
Transcript
Dilbert: Our pointy-haired boss asked me to get everyone's buy-in on this. Alice: I'll agree to your stupid idea if you support my great idea later. Dilbert: Deal. Alice: Should I read it? Dilbert: I don't see why.
Saturday December 10,
2016
Cartoonist As Spokesperson
Tags spokesperson, embarrassment, celebrity, promoter, product
Transcript
Boss: We're looking for a celebrity spokesperson, but we don't have much budget for it. All we can afford is a cartoonist. Can you do the job for $75? Scott Adams: Deal! Boss: Have you ever done anything on social media that would embarrass us? Scott Adams: I thought that's what it's for.

