Career Choices Comic Strips - Page 20

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

203 Results for Career Choices

View 191 - 200 results for career choices comic strips. Discover the best "Career Choices" comics from Dilbert.com.

Only Two Bad Choices

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Only Two Bad Choices  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #choice, #choosing

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We have only two choices, and both of them are bad. SO we'll do the only smart thing we can do in this situation. Dilbert: Choose the path that is least bad? Boss: I was going to say pick the path that hurts our enemies the most, but you're ruining it with your talking.

Criminal Does Tech Support

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Criminal Does Tech Support - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #market, #competitive, #career, #criminal, #internal, #tech support, #passwords, #software, #justice, #fist

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I know the job market is highly competitive, but was it really a good idea to hire a career criminal? The Boss: Relax. He's just doing internal tech support. Paul: I'll need all of your passwords to update your software. Alice: Have you met my fist of justice?

New Statue In The Lobby

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Statue In The Lobby - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #alice, #the boss, #criminal, #tech support, #darned, #good, #report

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Where's the career criminal I hired to do tech support? He was last seen talking to you. Alice: Rumor has it that someone murdered him, covered him in with-out and tried to pass him off as a statue in the lobby. Dilbert: I would report this if it did't look so darned good here.

Idiots Don't Know They Are Idiots

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Idiots Don't Know They Are Idiots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #alice, #ted talk, #idiots, #dumb, #career, #change, #smart, #possible, #speak

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I watched a Ted talk yesterday about how idiots don't know they are dumb. Alice: For the sake of my career, I hope you change the subject as soon as possible. The Boss: Did you know idiots believe they are smart? Alice: Must... Not... Speak...

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #career, #employees, #office, #office workers, #training, #trick, #sabatoge

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally will train you for your new job. You'll need to figure out how much of what he says is real training and how much is career sabotage. Man: Career sabotage? Boss: Employees don't like competition. Only the top 20% get bonuses. They'll do what they can to keep you out of that group. Man: I assume you're exaggerating. Boss: You'll see. Wally: Has anyone told you about no-pants Fridays?

Thankless Tasks

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Thankless Tasks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #career, #employment, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #optimism

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: My career goal is to have a job with greater recognition, autonomy, and a sense of purpose. Boss: We'll miss you. Man: I was hoping to get that stuff here. Boss: We're more about thankless tasks.

Why Did You Not Tell Me Sooner

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Why Did You Not Tell Me Sooner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #career, #information, #office, #problem

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss to dilbert: why didn't you tell me about this problem earlier? dilbert: because you would have made decisions based on incomplete information and ruined my career. the boss walking away: okay, i didn't realize that was obvious.

Would It Look The Same

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Would It Look The Same  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #dumb, #smart

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Hypothetically, how would you know if I were dumber than you or much smarter? Because in both cases I would make choices that you wouldn't understand. Wouldn't it look the same to you? Boss: I don't enjoy talking to you.

Thwarting Alice's Career

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Thwarting Alice's Career - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #mentor, #deny, #Promotion, #compete, #thwart, #career, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: can you mentor me? boss: heck, no. you're only one promotion away from competing for my job. alice: well, maybe you could just stop thwarting my career? boss: no, same issue.

Passion

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Passion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #business, #live, #parents, #passion, #job, #match, #career, #porcelain, #frog, #fault

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker: i still live with my parents because i can't find a job that matches my passion. dilbert: what is your passion? office worker: i collect porcelain frogs. dilbert: that isn't a career. office worker: how is that my fault?