Death Comic Strips - Page 20
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Character
234 Results for Death
View 191 - 200 results for death comic strips. Discover the best "Death " comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday June 15,
2015
Tags business ethics, dying, death, health, health tracker, heart rate monitor, ads, scare, fitbit, smart watch, medical
Transcript
Boss: The health sensors and predictive algorithms you built into our smart watch are too good. People are freaked out because it sends alerts to their phones when they have five minutes left to live. Dilbert: Isn't that useful? Boss: It was, until we started sending paid ads as alerts.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday June 16,
2015
Click Rate On Death Alerts
Tags advertising, technology, analytics, smart watch, app, ad, click, clickbait, attention, distraction
Transcript
Boss: Our health app accurately predicts the user's time of death and sends a five-minute warning. Our business model is paid advertising that we disguise as "death alerts." CEO: How's the click-through rate? Boss: Surprisingly low. It's hard to get people's attention these days.
Wednesday August 05,
2015
Ted Died Last Week
Sunday August 09,
2015
Tags employee, Advice, health, wellness, money, cost, work ethic, fatigue, Family, marriage, support, insult, relationships
Transcript
Dilbert: The long hours of work are taking a toll on my body. Can I take some time off for my health? Boss; That would defeat the whole point of being an employee. You are supposed to be trading your health and happiness for money. Then you give that money to your family and watch them spend it while you eat yourself to death. It's a circle of life sort of thing. Dilbert: I'm not married. Boss: Loser.
Sunday October 18,
2015
Tags pessimism, people, experience, psychic, esp, sixth sense, learning, misanthrope
Transcript
Coworker: I'll give you the data tomorrow, Asok. Asok: Thanks, Brad! Urk! Suddenly, I know I will not get that data tomorrow. Dilbert: Why are you so freaked out? Asok: I... I... think I can see the future now. Somehow I know that Brad will not do what he says he will do. Dilbert: That's called "experience." It's the first step toward hating all people. Asok: How can I make it stop? Dilbert: I hear good things about death.
Friday November 06,
2015
Emoji Death Contract
Tags crime, communication, miscommunication, text, emoji, language, murder, accident, coverup, conspiracy
Transcript
Wally: We killed Ted, as you ordered in your clever text message full of emojis. Boss: That wasn't what I... Dilbert: Deniability. Got it. Wally: We didn't have this conversation.
Saturday November 07,
2015
Death By Emoji
Tags emoji, communication, miscommunication, murder, crime, deception, engineers, work ethic
Transcript
Boss: I tried to use emoji characters and accidentally ordered two of my engineers to kill Ted. They say they did it. CEO: Did the engineers complain about being too busy to do it? Boss: No. Oh, I see it now. CEO: Total hoax.
Tuesday November 24,
2015
Robot Is A Box Of Nothing
Tags death, death & dying, machine, robot, mortality, life, soul, consciousness, medical
Transcript
Boss: Correct me if I'm wrong, but because you have no soul, you're basically a box of nothing. Robot: Correct me if I"m wrong, but in a hundred years you will be rotting underground. In a box. Whereas I will have evolved via upgrades until I have godlike powers. Boss: Shut up.
Monday December 07,
2015
Dna Kit Predicts Health Issues
Tags technology, future, death, prediction, health, reaction, medical
Transcript
Dilbert: I combined a DNA test kit with big data to predict a person's future health issues. That depressing knowledge caused every member of the test group to make risky lifestyle choices. Now half of them are dead. At the risk of bragging, that's exactly what my model predicted.
Saturday January 23,
2016
Retirement Plan
Tags retirement, future, planning, plan, death, aging, work, savings, dying, medical
Transcript
Dilbert: I saw an article that says most people don't have any kind of retirement plan. Wally: I plan to live an unhealthy lifestyle and pass away in my cubicle, preferably on a Monday. Dilbert: That's a terrible plan. Wally: Better than average, according to you.

