Health Insurance Comic Strips - Page 20
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224 Results for Health Insurance
View 191 - 200 results for health insurance comic strips. Discover the best "Health Insurance" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday April 25,
2020
Social Distancing
Tags business, eighties, health, hug, managers & supervisors, practice, social distancing, virus, coronavirus
Transcript
boss with face mask: wally, i need you to practice "social distancing" until the virus risk has passed. wally: i already do that. i haven't hugged anyone since the eighties. boss: good job. high-five. wally: back off.
Monday April 27,
2020
Human Walking This Way
Tags coronavirus, exercise, fish, health, human, social distancing, walking, water
Transcript
dilbert walking outside thinking: uh-oh. a human being is walking in my direction. dilbert jumping over wall into river: aaaagh!!! fish in water by dilbert: i need to ask you to back up six feet.
Thursday April 30,
2020
Ceo Has Pandemic Plan
Tags business, managers & supervisors, video conference, stock market, money, rich, lost, pandemic, health, underpay, stategy
Transcript
ceo on video conference: i used to be rich, but i lost it all in the stock market crash during the pandemic. luckily, i can make up the difference by working you idiots to death while underpaying you. video chat: we thought you didn't have a strategy. ceo: i just don't like to talk about it.
Saturday May 02,
2020
Carol Hoards
Tags business, health, office supplies, copy paper, hoarding, shortage, coronavirus
Transcript
dilbert wearing face mask: we're running low on copier paper. carol wearing face mask: i know. i hoarded it all at my house when someone said we might have a shortage. dilbert: can you bring some of it back? carol: that would defeat the point of hoarding.
Sunday May 03,
2020
Dilbert Hates Safety
Tags business, safety, anger, yelling, statistics, flaw, authority, health
Transcript
dilbert: your method of calculating the safety statistics is flawed. monkey man: wow. wait until i tell everyone you don't think safety matters. dilbert: i...didn't say that. i'm talking about the way you measured it. monkey man yelling: it's too late to walk it back now! dilbert: i'm not "walking it back." i'm clarifying. monkey man: there's nothing to clarify, you hate safety. dilbert yelling and waving arms: stop putting words in my mouth!! i'm a better authority on what i think than you are!!! boss in hallway: what was all that yelling about? monkey man: dilbert thinks safety doesn't matter.
Friday May 08,
2020
Version 2 Kills
Tags business, upgrade, software, technology, version, health, issue, nonsense
Transcript
wally with face mask giving presentation: according to our newest data, 100% of the people who upgraded to version 2.0 of our software died the same day. wally to boss: but we don't think it means anything because all of them had underlying health issues. boss: how did they all have underlying health issues? wally: version 1.0 had some rough edges too.
Saturday May 09,
2020
No Human Contact
Tags home, human, contact, self isolation, quarantine, coronavirus, health, oxytocin, lonely
Transcript
dilbert at home: i haven't had any human contact for months. dilbert wearing face mask sitting on couch with dogbert: people need physical contact to keep their oxytocin at healthy levels. dogbert: get away from me. dilbert: maybe if we both close our eyes.
Wednesday May 27,
2020
Boss Is In A High Risk Group
Tags criticism, health & safety, office workers, sarcasm, virus, pandemic, risk
Transcript
Carol: Are you worried about coronavirus because you're in a high-risk group? Boss: Why would I be in a high-risk group? Carol: Do you own a full-length mirror? Boss: No. They make me look fat.
Thursday May 28,
2020
Wally Borrows Money
Tags danger, health & safety, money, office workers, social distancing
Transcript
Wally: I heard you are not practicing social distancing. Can I borrow some money? CEO: What does social distancing have to do with borrowing money? Wally: I like borrowing money when I might not have to pay it back.
Saturday May 30,
2020
Why Use Tests
Tags diseases, health & safety, medical, office workers, sarcasm, pandemic, virus, diagnose
Transcript
Dilbert: No face mask? Boss: I have antibodies for the virus. I'm pretty sure I had the virus last January when I had a throat tickle. Dilbert: I wonder why virus test kits exist when we can just ask people if they had it. Boss: I was wondering the same.


