Important Documents Comic Strips - Page 20
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217 Results for Important Documents
View 191 - 200 results for important documents comic strips. Discover the best "Important Documents" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday June 25,
2014
Tags #celestial bodies, #managers & supervisors, #black hole, #management style, #dangerous, #importnat emails, #employee named ted, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Your management style has caused a black hole to form. Boss: Is it dangerous? Catbert: No to us. It only absorbs important emails from employees. And en employee named Ted, apparently.
Monday August 04,
2014
Tags #pessimism, #start up idea, #pivoting, #optimisim, #enthusiam, #doomed
Transcript
Dilbert: I have an idea for a start-up. Dogbert: You're doomed. Dilbert: Maybe the first idea won't work, but I'll keep pivoting until something does. Dogbert: You're doomed. Dilbert: The most important thing is that I need to keep my optimism and enthusiasm high. Dogbert: You're doomed.
Saturday August 16,
2014
Tags #optimism, #telephones, #work ethic, #prodcutive, #conference call, #cubicla, #exhautisng
Transcript
Boss: You don't look productive. Wally: I'm on a conference call. Boss: Maybe you should be in your cubicle listening to it. Wally: Nah. They aren't saying anything important. Boss: Maybe they will. Wally: Optimism sounds exhausting.
Friday August 29,
2014
Tags #laziness, #not caring what others think, #total uslessness, #key to success, #discussion, #employees, #hoping it goes, #business
Transcript
Wally: Asok, the key to success is not caring what others think of you. Coincidentally, that is also the key to being totally useless. The important thing is that other people can't tell which way you're hoping it goes.
Sunday October 26,
2014
Tags #deception, #email, #insulting, #intelligence, #iq, #trickery, #work ethic, #obession, #addiction, #work smarter, #text, #efficiency
Transcript
Wally: Studies show that continually checking email lowers your functional I.Q. You advised me to "work smarter," so I plan to ignore all of your email from now on. Boss: What if I text you instead? Wally: That's the sort of question that one asks after checking email too often. Boss: Did you just insult me? Wally: That answer is in your email. Boss: Where is it? I don't see any email from you. But I see six new emails that look important. What were we talking about. Wally: You were complimenting me on my efficiency.
Saturday December 13,
2014
Text Is More Important Than Dilbert
Tags #cell phones, #distraction, #power, #subversion, #text, #text message, #attention, #pellet of attention, #ignore, #superior, #demonstrate
Transcript
Boss: Hold on, I have a text message that is probably more important than you. I will demonstrate my power over you by handling a text message while you sit there, waiting for a pellet of my attention. Stop texting me! Dilbert: Mmm... pellet.
Thursday December 18,
2014
Engineers Built Everything That Matters
Tags #engineers, #importance, #marketing, #wages, #pay scale, #modern civilization, #need both, #marketing guy, #business, #money
Transcript
The Marketing Guy. Marketing Guy: I don't see why engineers get paid more than marketing professionals. Dilbert: Maybe because engineers designed and built every important part of modern civilization and all you did was misrepresent it. Marketing Guy: My point is that you need both. Dilbert: You really don't.
Wednesday January 14,
2015
Get Off Wally's Back!
Tags #anger, #deadlines, #laziness, #mean, #work ethic, #yelling
Transcript
Coworker: Wally, did you finish the... Wally: Get off my back! Why can't you just trust me to do my work on time?!?! Coworker: Sorry... Dilbert: Who were you yelling at? Wally: Beats me. It didn't seem important.
Tuesday April 07,
2015
Useless Mansplainers
Tags #mansplainer, #relations between the sexes, #sexism, #Women, #engineers, #programmers, #furstration
Transcript
Alice: I can't get any work done because my project team is a bunch of useless mansplainers. Why do men feel the need to explain things to me when I know more than they do? Boss: Let me explain it to you, Alice. Men like to show off and feel important. Alice: Stop it!
Sunday May 03,
2015
Tags #reasoning, #excuse, #leadership, #Promotion, #promote
Transcript
Boss: I can't promote you because you didn't have an impact on anything important. Dilbert: How can I have an impact on important things when you put me on unimportant projects? Boss: That sounds like an excuse. Dilbert: What's the difference between an excuse and a great reason? Boss: It depends who says it. Leaders have great reasons when things don't work out, but losers just have excuses. Dilbert: So... you can turn my excuses into great reasons by promoting me? Boss: No, because I can't promote you. Dilbert: That sounds like an excuse.