Many Tasks Comic Strips - Page 20

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

317 Results for Many Tasks

View 191 - 200 results for many tasks comic strips. Discover the best "Many Tasks" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #computer, #waste of time, #tasks, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "Do you have a minute?" Dilbert says, "Absolutely." Dilbert says, "I allocated one minute today for tasks that are a complete waste of time." Man says, "This isn't a complete waste of time." Dilbert says, "Bummer. I only allocated time for things that are."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chain letter, #e-mail, #die, #panic, #friends, #negotiating, #fifty, #superstitious

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Oh no. If I don't forward this e-mail to fifty friends, I'll die within a week." The Boss says, "I don't have that many friends! I need to make more friends, and fast!!!" Dilbert says, "What are you sending him now?" Wally says, "I'm upping it to sixty friends."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #plan, #transfer, #missile guidance engineering division, #pour coffee, #face front, #unimportant tasks, #destroy, #fishing village, #lazy

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I asked for a transfer to our missile guidance engineering division." Wally says, "Once they get to know me, they'll only give me unimportant tasks so I won't accidentally destroy a fishing village." Wally says, "The great thing about unimportant tasks is that no one really cares if you do them."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #therapy, #cellphone, #apps, #crazy, #marketing, #steve jobs, #worried, #lie down, #business, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says, "I can't stop buying phone apps that I don't need. Am I crazy?" Therapist says, "Yes, you are totally batspit crazy. You'll need many sessions." Therapist says, "Steve Jobs isn't the only one who can do marketing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #statue of liberty, #destroy, #pr, #responsibility, #clean up, #new york harbor, #light show, #weapon demo, #podium, #speech, #fish food

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO says, "The media is on our back because we accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty. We need your P.R. advice." Dogbert says, "Did you take full responsibility and promise to clean up the harbor?" CEO says, "Ooh." Earlier that day CEO says, "Many of you don't know that the Statue of Liberty was very old... and made entirely of fish food."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #facebook, #twitter, #marketing, #social media, #new employee, #coworker, #cats, #drunk, #stupid, #business, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Beth says, "As the marketing manager for social media, my job is to use these two words a lot." Beth says, "Marketing through social media is like herding cats. And just to make it interesting, many of the cats are drunk and stupid." Dilbert says, "Burn." Catbert says, "I am totally defriending that witch."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales, #bonus, #boss, #raise target, #engineer, #connect cables, #computers, #time machine, #marketing, #liquor, #business, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Ken says, "I hate sales. Can you cross-train me to be an engineer?" Dilbert says, "Absolutely. All you need is a time machine and a brain with twice as many folds as your current model." Ken says, "Maybe I could try marketing." Dilbert says, "That's just liqour and guessing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work, #desk, #problems, #distractions, #arms out, #mouth open, #yell, #fantasy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Are you running into any problems?" Alice says, "Only the kind that you make worse." The Boss says, "Name one problem that I make worse!" Alice says, "I have too many distractions." The Boss says, "Do you have any problems that aren't like that one?" Alice says, "Only in my fantasies."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stockholder, #meeting, #budget, #waste money, #panic attack, #pucker face, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Stockholder says, "Hi ho! I'm a common stockholder. I'm here to see how my investment is coming along." The Boss says, "Okay, first on the agenda, we need to blow our budget before year end so we don't get less money next year." The Boss says, "How many ten-dollar mouse pads can we get for $10,000?" Stockholder says, "I hope this is a panic attack."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anxiety, #stress, #meltdown cubicle, #theoretical workload limit, #brains full, #becomes overdue, #projects overdue, #tasks, #urgent, #funny noise, #missed dead line

View Transcript

Transcript

Voice: Meltdown in cubicle 459540! Dilbert: That's Te. He must have reached his T.W.L. Asok: His what? Dilbert: Theoretical workload limit. In layman's terms, his brain is full. It starts when just one of your projects becomes overdue. You end up spending all of your time explaining why you didn't get it done. That makes all of your other projects overdue. When ever task become urgent, your brain can't decide what to do next. Brains make a funny noise when they shut down. Noise: Poink. Asok: Uh-oh. I just missed a deadline. Wally: And so it begins.