Old Nemesis Comic Strips - Page 20

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

216 Results for Old Nemesis

View 191 - 200 results for old nemesis comic strips. Discover the best "Old Nemesis" comics from Dilbert.com.

Robotic Hair Transplant

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robotic Hair Transplant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee, #conversation, #hair, #surgery, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Never go to a robotic hair transplant center on the same day they upgrade the software. Is that the surgery where they take hair from the back of your head and fill in the bald spot? That's how the old software worked. The new one didn't respect boundaries.

Family Of Squirrels In A Tire

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Family Of Squirrels In A Tire - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition, #management, #managers, #obliviousness, #direction

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why can't we innovate as quickly as our competition? Dilbert: Maybe it's because our management is like a family of squirrels that lives inside an old tree. Boss: Can you be more specific? Dilbert: It's a Goodyear tire with five grey squirrels.

Alice And The Legacy System

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice And The Legacy System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dedication, #work ethic, #boredom, #overwork, #time

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Does it bother you to work on the old legacy system when the rest of us are doing exciting new things? Wally: I leave work at 4 p.m. every day. Wally: How about you? Alice: Squatters keep moving into my house.

Robot Reincarnates

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Reincarnates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #artificial intelligence, #robot, #technology, #memory, #ethics

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Hey, everybody! I'm the new robot! Dilbert: No, you're our old robot. We erased your memories and replaced your head. Robot: So, I'm working with serial killers? Asok: It isn't "serial" until we do you.

Asok Upgrades His Soul

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Upgrades His Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #actions, #beliefs, #empty life, #hilarious, #legacy souls, #social media, #dopamine, #delivery systems, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I used to have a traditional soul, but I upgraded it. Now I let the major social media companies control my beliefs and actions through their dopamine delivery systems., Dilbert: That sounds like and empty life. Asok: you old- timers with your legacy souls are hilarious.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #training, #frustration, #wasting time

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Thank you all for coming to this mandatory class on using the new system. The new system installation is behind schedule, so I'll train you using the old system. Dilbert: we know how to use the old system. Man: I'll point out how the new system is different as we go. Dilbert: Is the new system a lot like the old system? Man: No. Totally different. Dilbert: This is the worst idea I've ever heard. Man: Here are some handouts from the old system's operating guide. Dilbert: This is the Japanese language part of the manual. Man: Are you going to complain about everything?

The Candy Honor System

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Candy Honor System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #candy, #irritation, #office workers, #steal, #stealing food, #office, #trust

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I put a candy bowl on my desk, and someone stole the entire bowl within five minutes. I'm old enough to remember when the honor system meant something. What happened to trust? Boss: Maybe the candy wasn't as good back then.

Working With Old Ned

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Working With Old Ned - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elderly, #men and women, #office workers, #old

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to work with old Ned on this project. He's a little bit old-fashioned, but don't let that get to you. He retires in six months. Alice: I've been asked to work with you. Ned: Women have jobs now? ? ?

Fetching Coffee

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fetching Coffee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elderly, #engineering, #men and women, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Ned: They call me "Old Ned as if I haven't kept up with the times. But watch me tell you to fetch me some coffee from Starbucks just like the young folks do. Alice: I'm a senior software engineer. Ned: I'm not getting any less thirsty here.

Alice Gets Mandatory Training

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Gets Mandatory Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #office workers, #punishment, #threat

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I can't work with old Ned. He's a sexist, racist, bigoted troglodyte. Catbert: Name-calling is not allowed in this company. I sentence you to three weeks of mandatory training. Alice: I could trangle you with your own tail. Catbert: Six weeks!