Pro Bono Job Comic Strips - Page 20

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

912 Results for Pro Bono Job

View 191 - 200 results for pro bono job comic strips. Discover the best "Pro Bono Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 1998's comic on:


Tags #improve moral, #prescribing anti depressants, #unwarranted optimism, #dead end job, #pills, #hr prescribed drugs, #employees happiness

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says to Wally and Dilbert, "Human resources is prescribing powerful antidepressants to improve morale." Alice continues, "The label says it may cause 'unwarranted optimism about you dead-end job.'" Wally, "I gotta get me some of that."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 1998's comic on:


Tags #overpaid, #do bad work, #Funny, #think about it, #terrible job, #job security

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sitting next to Dilbert while he types on his computer. Dogbert says, "As a consultant, I'm overpaid even if I do bad work." Dogbert continues, "Whereas you're underpaid even if you do good work. It's funny if you think about it." Dilbert, while typing, replies, "I might have a terrible job, but at least I don't have any job security."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 1998's comic on:


Tags #theory testing, #Dogbert, #people told what to do, #quit job, #build pyramid, #dolt, #honesty doesn't mix

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sitting on couch while holding "TECH" magazine. Dogbert stands on arm of couch and thinks, "I will now test my theory that people like to be told what to do." Dogbert yells, "QUIT YOUR JOB AND BUILD ME A PYRAMID, YOU HOMELY DOLT!!!" Dilbert responds, "I liked it until the dolt part." Dogbert says, "I've noticed that honesty doesn't mix well with anything."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 1998's comic on:


Tags #no one wants job, #village, #fillage, #dogbert as ceo

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss and Dogbert sitting across from Wally and Dilbert at a table. The Boss says, "Mister Dogbert has returned as our C.E.O. becuase no one else wants the job." Dogbert, sitting between The Boss and Asok the Intern, says, "I can't tell you my plan for the assets of this company...but it rhymes with 'village.'" While Wally and Dilbert exit the meeting, Wally says, "I hope it's 'fillage.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #grossly underpaid, #type of work, #current duities, #compensation review, #true story, #not qualified, #subordinate is qualified

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert sits behind a desk, a women sits on the other side. The woman says, "I'm grossly underpaid for the type of work I do now." Catbert says, "Write a description of your current duties. I'll be happy to do a compensation review." Caption: Based on a true story. Catbert says, "Sadly, it appears you're not qualified for your own job. But one of your subordinates is." Woman's eyes widen.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 1998's comic on:


Tags #vital information, #deadline, #boss request, #traded work ethic, #banana, #break room

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his computer. The boss hands him a piece of paper. "I'll need this vital information by one o'clock." Dilbert thinks, "If I do a shoddy job, I can finish this and still make it to lunch!" Dilbert eats lunch with Alice and Wally. Dilbert says, "Today I traded my work ethic for a banana." Wally says, "I ate that banana years ago."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #deny request, #evil incarnate, #something specific, #dollar estimate, #value, #chair, #quantify job, #work tools

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches a worker sitting at his desk. He is holding a piece of paper and says, "Why did the I.S. department deny my request for a P.C. upgrade?" The worker holds up his arms and shouts, "Because we are evil incarnate! BUWAHAHAHA!!" Dilbert says, "I was looking for something more specific." The worker holds out the paper and says, "You didn't provide a dollar estimate of the benefits." Dilbert says, "That's ridiculous. I can't put a value on every tool I need to do my job." The worker sits back in his chair with his arms folded and says, "If you can't quantify it, then it must not be necessary." Dilbert throws up his hands and says, "Then why does the company give me a chair? I can't quantify that either." Dilbert sits on the floor of his cubicle, without a chair. He thinks, "Here's one more reason why it stinks to be me."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 1998's comic on:


Tags #rat, #answers phone, #consulting compnay, #good pay, #investment banking, #phone call

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert walks by the phone as it rings. Ratbert answers the phone. Ratbert says, "Hello, I'm a rat." The voice on the other end of the phone says, "This is a consulting company. We'll pay you $200,000 per year to work for us." Ratbert says, "I'm more interested in investment banking." The voice says, "#*@ Job market."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 1998's comic on:


Tags #consulting job, #wealthy, #cuter, #spreading disease, #dilbert and rat

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert stands on Dilbert's desk. Ratbert says, "Thanks to my consulting job, I'm wealthier than you." Dilbert looks mad. Ratbert says, "And I'm cuter, obviously. The only thing left is personality." Dilbert says, "Shouldn't you be spreading disease somewhere?" Ratbert says, "Three for three! Yes!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 1998's comic on:


Tags #not policy, #fire morons, #expensive, #make your job unpleasent, #so you quit, #porject, #bitten by coyoytes, #vested

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss has his hand on Donald's shoulder. Donald shirt is untucked and his tie is askew. The boss says, "It's not my policy to fire morons, Donald. Firing is expensive." The boss says, "It's my policy to make your job so unpleasant that you quit." Dilbert says, "So, your project involves being bitten by coyotes?" Donald is covered by small coyotes. Donald says, "Only two more years and I'm vested."