Raise Comic Strips - Page 20
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Character
202 Results for Raise
View 191 - 200 results for raise comic strips. Discover the best "Raise" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday May 08,
2019
Paying The Replacement More
Tags business, office, office workers, pay raise
Transcript
dilbert: if i were to quit, you would have to pay my replacement more than you are paying me. dilbert: wouldn't it be more fair to give me a raise to stay? the boss: how would that be fair to your replacement?
Sunday May 26,
2019
Tags business, employees, office, office workers, pay raise, employee of the year
Transcript
the boss: i'm looking for nominations for employee of the year. the boss: does anyone have a suggestion? dilbert: hypothetically, would the winner of this award be likely to get a larger-than-normal pay raise? the boss: i would think so, yes. dilbert: and is it true that our budget for raises is limited? the boss: yes, of course. dilbert: would it not be against my best interests to nominate an employee who is competing with me for scarce resources? the boss: let's just forget i brought it up. dilbert: i nominate myself.
Saturday June 01,
2019
Winners Never Quit
Tags business, office, office workers, sarcasm, inspirational quotes
Transcript
the boss: i'm not having much luck with my inspirational quotes, but i thought i would try one more time. the boss: "winners never quit, and quitters never win." dilbert: when ted quit, you gave him a raise to stay. the boss: these work better when you don't think about them.
Sunday June 23,
2019
Tags budget, business, office, raise, project
Transcript
the boss: i can't give you a raise because you did not complete your project. dilbert: that's because you canceled my project for budget reasons and assigned me to work on another project. the boss: did you finish your new project? dilbert: you only recently assigned it to me. the boss: apparently, i keep giving you work, but you never complete any of it. dilbert visually distressed: that is a total distortion of what happened! dilbert: i can't reward you for having good intentions and finishing nothing! dilbert: why not wait and see now i do on my current project? the boss: we don't need that anymore.
Saturday August 10,
2019
Asok Moves Into A Pod
Tags employment, finances, home, money, office workers, salary, apartment
Transcript
Asok: Thanks to my raise, I can afford to move out of my home in the men's restroom stall and into a pod. Dilbert: A pod? Asok: A pod! Dilbert: Is it better than the stall? Asok: It's smaller, but better appointed.
Wednesday August 21,
2019
Wally Has Higher Income
Tags lying, managers & supervisors, money, office workers, bribe, salary
Transcript
Wally: Now that I'm the boss's new pet employee, my income is higher than ever. Dilbert: I didn't realize it came with a raise. Wally: It's more of an indirect thing. Man: I'll give you $100 to tell the boss good things about me. Wally: My price for lying is $200.
Friday April 17,
2020
Rot From The Inside
Tags business, managers & supervisors, work, ethic, abysmal, loan, project, hate, rot, idea, raise
Transcript
boss: wally, your work ethic is abysmal. you're fired. wally: wouldn't it make more sense to loan me to a project you hate, so i can rot it from the inside? boss: that's not your worst idea. wally: is a raise out of the question?
Sunday June 07,
2020
Should Have Done It Sooner
Tags business, dollars, failure, managers & supervisors, patch, payroll, problem, raise, savings, software, technology, years
Transcript
dilbert: i wrote a software patch that will save three million dollars per year. i feel as if i deserve a bonus or a raise. boss: when did you do it? dilbert: this week. boss: how long did we have the problem? dilbert: five years. boss: then you should have fixed it five years ago. looks like a gigantic failure to me. you should be ashamed of yourself. in another room catbert: did you try my strategy for keeping payroll expenses low? boss: works like magic.
Monday July 27,
2020
No Raise In Years
Tags business, managers & supervisors, job, raise, nine, years, face mask, employment
Transcript
office worker: i've been working here for nine years, and you haven't given me a single raise! boss: i didn't even know you worked for me. obviously, you didn't do anything useful, or i would have noticed. office worker: well, in that case, i'm glad i didn't give my name.
Wednesday April 07,
2021
Title Promotion
Tags business, technology, recognition, outstanding, work, pandemic, title, Promotion, stupid, raise, ungrateful, engineer
Transcript
boss: dilbert, in recognition of your outstanding work during the pandemic, i'm giving you a promotion. dilbert: i don't want a stupid title. i want a raise. what's my new title? boss's voice through phone: "ungrateful engineer."


