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223 Results for Sell A Million

View 191 - 200 results for sell a million comic strips. Discover the best "Sell A Million" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2012's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #wages, #hiring engineers, #google, #million per year, #change the world, #average engineer pay, #money

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Interviewee: Google offered me a million dollars a year. What's your offer? Boss: Work for us and you can change the world! Interviewee: Change it how? Boss: By lowering the average pay of engineers. Hiring engineers

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #wages, #saved company millions, #no bonus, #ceo plans, #500 million, #acquisitions, #go team, #money

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Boss: Alice, your great work this year saved the company $10 million. But I can't give you a bonus because our CEO plans to write down $500 million for acquisitions gone bad. Go team!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #gotcha fees, #airlines, #make moneky, #terrible battery life, #high five

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Dogbert: You need to have more "gotcha" fees. That's how airlines make their money. For example, you could design your product to have a terrible battery life, then sell extra chargers for ten times your cost. CEO: And maybe the chargers could break after two months. Dogbert: High five!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 2013's comic on:


Tags #hunter gather roots, #office equipment, #ouge, #power cords, #rummages through trah, #trash into gold, #upgarde

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Coworker: Do you mind if I rummage through the trash in the technology lab? Dilbert: Um, okay. Coworker: I'm getting back to my hunter-gatherer roots. Score! These old power cords sell on Ebay for up to $3 apiece. Ha ha! I'm a genius who turns trash into gold! How's that compare to whatever you're doing here. Dilbert: Well, I'm removing valuable features from our product so we can.. gouge our customers with the... upgrade. Coworker: Wow. Your life is a total waste. Dilbert: Not if I sell the power cord.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2013's comic on:


Tags #anger, #engineers, #wages, #start up, #million each, #under paid, #money, #salray, #paid workers

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Boss: This is one of the engineers that works at the start-up we purchased. We bought the company just to get the engineers. Basically, each engineer cost us a million dollars. Dilbert: I'm so underpaid! Engineer: That money didn't go to me!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 2013's comic on:


Tags #anger, #questioning, #bought start up, #million dollars, #diet coke, #wine

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Alice: We bought a start-up just so we could get the engineers, including you. Do something that's worth a million dollars. I want to see what that looks like. Coworker: You don't sound entirely sincere. Alice: Can you turn my Diet Coke into wine?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2013's comic on:


Tags #inventions, #win battle, #developing better tv sets, #digital couch, #butt warmer, #bottle opener, #back scratcher, #control lights, #temperature, #buttocks like a mouse

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Wally: The biggest tech companies want to win the battle for your living room. But they are unwisely focusing on developing better TV sets. Today I give you me design for a fully digital couch. It has all of the features you would expect, including a butt warmer, surround sound, bottle opener and back scratcher. But you can also control the lights, curtains, temperature and TV by using your buttocks like a mouse on the seat cushion. This is a loft click and... this is a right. The prototype arrives tomorrow, and I'll be testing it for the next six months. Maybe I'll sell my house.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 2013's comic on:


Tags #internet & world wide web, #sales personnel, #deluxe edition, #store, #online shopping, #unnecessary warranty extenstion, #digital receipt

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Dilbert: Okay, you talked me into buying the deluxe edition. Salesman: We don't have that one in stock, but I could call around to our other stores. Dilbert: Technically, that means this is not actually a store. You're more like online shopping, but with a terrible user interface. Watch me buy that same item with my phone while you stand there being obsolete. And... done. Salesman: Did they try to sell you an unnecessary warranty extension? Dilbert: No. Salesman: Yes! I still have a purpose! Dilbert: Here's my digital receipt.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2013's comic on:


Tags #10 thousand hours, #genetic makeup, #laziness, #million hours, #become an expert

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Alice: People used to think it took 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert. But now people think the amount of practice you need depends on your genetic makeup. So you'd be good to go after a million or so hours. Wally: See why I don't bother?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 2013's comic on:


Tags #deception, #sales personnel, #linux, #million dollars, #pay for upgrade, #away for free

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Dogbert: I'll sell you the rights to use Linux for one million dollars. After the first month, you only need to pay for every upgrade. Boss: It sounds too good to be true. Dogbert: It's not as if I'm giving it away for free.