Tech Support Comic Strips - Page 20

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

262 Results for Tech Support

View 191 - 200 results for tech support comic strips. Discover the best "Tech Support" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags customer support, customer service, rodent, talk on phone, creepy personal questions, waste of time, refund

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert's customer support Ratbert says, "You're speaking to a powerless rodent." Ratbert says, "My job is to prevent you from getting to anyone who is authorized to give refunds." Ratbert says, "I'd like to begin by asking you some creepy personal questions."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, project, point, progress, enhanced assessment methodology, towel, shower, nervous, soul, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "?And of course we'll assess our progress along the way." Coworker says, "Will you be using an enhanced assessment methodology?" Coworker says, "I hope that means something. All I did was string together some words I heard in the hallway." Dilbert says, "Um... I'll be assessing... by measuring... and um..." The Boss says, "I better get in on this." The Boss says, "I can't support this project until I see your advanced assessment methodology plan." Dilbert says, "I'll have it in ten minutes, assuming you don't now what it's supposed to look like." The Boss says, "Very good." Dilbert says, "I'll be in the shower trying to wash my soul."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags evil, cat, director of human resources, sales bonus, raise target, boss, laugh, point, bend over, tail, annoyed, support, animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Ken says, "Every time I get near my sales bonus level, the pointy-haired boss raises the target!" Catbert says, "Ha ha ha! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard! He just yanks it away! Ha ha ha!" Ken says, "I was hoping for some support." Catbert says, "Then buy a cane and talk to the tail! Ooogah!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags therapy session, cloud, having meeting, tech talk, couch, shrink, avatar, engineer, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I was holding a virtual meeting using the cloud and... Therapist: you're already dead and you don't know it. Dilbert: um...no im an engineer. Therapist: and yet your should had a meeting in a cloud. Interesting. Dilbert: my people call it an avatar.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags apathy, telephones, get tech support, audio menu, tech support, user manuals, hate customers, apathy thing

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I researched how long your customers will stay on the phone trying to get tech support before giving up. Then I designed an audio menu tree that will take them slightly longer than that to reach your tech support. I've seen your user manuals and I assume that you hate your customers' guts. Boss: It's more of an apathy thing.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags public speaking, financial model, complicated, formula errors, management, figures support, schemes for career development, life is ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: My financial model in Excel is so complicated that I assume it's riddled with formula errors. But that's okay because management only uses the results when the figures support their schemes for career advancement. Uh-oh. I just realized that my life is ridiculous. Boss: Do you have hand-outs?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags interviews, ignorant and bored, hired, awesome tech skills, management genius

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: You're ignorant and ridiculous. I'm bored. Are we done here? Boss: You're hired. You must have awesome technical skills or else someone would have killed you by now. Boss: I can't tell if I'm a management genius or just lazy.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer software, computers & peripherals, conversation, risk assessment tools, communicate, enhance sector

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: We need to enhance our sector-relevant support for a suite of integrated risk assessment tools. Do you understand? Dilbert: Maybe. Is your point that you don't know how to communicate? Man: No. Dilbert: Oh. Then I didn't get it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, retail business, sales trip, dont talk, misleading impression, engineering support, after sale, bag of meat, lying bag of meat

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to come with me on a sales trip, but don't talk to the customer. Your presence is needed to give a misleading impression of how much engineering support we plan to offer after the sale. Dilbert: So I'm nothing but a bag of meat? Boss: No. You're a lying bag of meat.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, lobbying, lobbiest, bribers, holiday, birthdays, lucrative job, tax breaks, company tax breaks, interview

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Your lobbyist said I could have a lucrative job here someday if I support tax breaks for your company. I have offers from other bribers, so I thought I'd stop by and see how this dump compares. Dilbert: Suddenly I know too much. Man: Fetch me some coffee and I'll make your birthday a holiday.