Wally Comic Strips - Page 20

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View 191 - 200 results for Wally comic strips. Discover the best "Wally" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boxes With Names

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Boxes With Names - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, employees, managers & supervisors, meetings, office workers, suspicious, layoff

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Boss: The rumors of a major layoff are completely untrue. Dilbert: Why did the facilities management people just deliver a huge load of cardboard boxes to the break room? Boss: You can never have too many boxes. Dilbert: Why does every box have an employee name on it?

Boss Has A Vision For The Company

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Boss Has A Vision For The Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, obliviousness, office workers, sarcasm, listen

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Boss: And that's my vision for the company. Dilbert: All you did was list the projects we are already working on while making it sound like astrology. Boss: In my defense, I didn't think any of you were listening.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, employees, employment, managers & supervisors, video games

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Boss: The job market is so tight that I had to hire this NPC. Dilbert: NPC? Boss: Non-player character. It's a video game term for a character that is programmed.As opposed to being an avatar for a human player. An NPC has limited programmed responses. Watch this. How's your day going? NPC: Not bad for a Monday. Boss: Can you help me on my project? NPC: I am too busy: Boss: What do you think of management? NPC: They are all dumb. Wally: I just bonded with that thing. Boss: See how fast you get used to it?

Contacting The Alien Probe

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Contacting The Alien Probe - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags aliens, communication, earth, space, technology

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Dilbert: We're ready to fire up our laser communication technology to contact the alien probe heading to Earth. Boss: Is the alien probe unmanned? Dilbert: It is now.

Cake Is Healthy

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Cake Is Healthy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cake, diet, employees, employment, health, health food, office, office workers

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Boss: We're launching a health and wellness initiative for employees this week. In other news, we have cake in the break room to celebrate all of the birthdays this month. Dilbert: Because cake is healthy? Boss: Learn to compartmentalize.

Jargon

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Jargon - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags confusion, employees, irritation, language, meetings, sarcasm

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Man: This was a great meeting. Are there any questions? Dilbert: I didn't understand any of the jargon you used for the past hour, so I have no idea what this meeting was about. Man: Why didn't you say something sooner? Dilbert: That's a good strategy for people who have hope.

Wally's Doctor Note

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Wally's Doctor Note - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, doctors, employees, excuses, work, writing

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Wally: Here's the note from my doctor that you asked for. Boss: I can't read the handwriting. Wally: That's how you know it's a real doctor's note. Boss: What's it say. Wally: It says I need lots of sleep at work.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, decision, executives, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, success, manipulation

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CEO: Profits have increased thirty percent under my leadership. Dilbert: Snort. CEO: What? Dilbert: All you do is pick the best plans from the options we show you. CEO: Exactly, and I pick the best plan every time. Dilbert: That's because we only show you the best plans compared to the worst plans we can think of. We control every decision you make by manipulating your perception of the options. CEO: We need to fix that. Dilbert: How do you fix something that isn't broken?

Sending Email At Night

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Sending Email At Night - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags email, employees, office, office workers, sarcasm

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Asok: I keep working hard, but no one notices. Wally: That's why I send out department-wide emails at around midnight every night. Asok: I didn't know you work at home every night. Wally: Do I need to speak slower here?

Being More Nimble

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Being More Nimble - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, decision, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm

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Boss: We need to be more innovative and more nimble. That's why I created a task force to consider forming a project team to write a white paper on how to start. Dilbert: Maybe they can fix you first. Boss: You can't fix perfect.