Being Smart Comic Strips - Page 20

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

652 Results for Being Smart

View 191 - 200 results for being smart comic strips. Discover the best "Being Smart" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #job, #laziness, #strategic thinker, #strategy, #work ethic, #worker bee, #attend meetings, #strategic, #no work, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Can I create my own job? I hear people do that. They figure out what they are good at and then they create a job around it. I'm more of a strategic thinker than a worker bee. My job could be to attend meetings and say strategic things. And, of course, I would have no time to respond to email because I'd be busy being strategic. Boss: It feels as if you want a job that doesn't involve work. Wally: Would you trust a strategic thinker who can't solve his own problems?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #dishonest, #dishonesty, #honest, #honesty, #lying, #reverse psychology, #trick, #trickery, #noteworthy, #hide evil, #verbal assault, #easiest lie, #set up

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: To be perfectly honest... Dilbert: Wait! Why do you need to say you're being honest in this particular case? You're implying that you've lied to me so often in the past that this one instance of honesty is noteworthy. That is tantamount to admitting you have no respect for me as a human being. And you don't even have the decency to hide your evil in a competent fashion! Do you think I'm such an idiot that I wouldn't notice your verbal assault on my intelligence? Okay, let's hear the one honest thing you have ever told me. Go. Boss: This is going to be the easiest lie I've ever told.

Bob Has No Cool Way To Describe His Life

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bob Has No Cool Way To Describe His Life - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dinosaurs, #flip phones, #smart phones, #technology, #what is cool?, #windows xp

View Transcript

Transcript

Dinosaur: All I need is my flip phone, my Windows XP, and my basic cable television. Did I sound like a big, dumb dinosaur that time? Dogbert: Pretty much. Dinosaur: Wow... there is no cool way to describe my life.

Bob Is Proud Of His Flip Phone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bob Is Proud Of His Flip Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dinosaurs, #insult, #insults, #judgement, #smart phones, #technology, #flip phone, #judegment, #follow ups

View Transcript

Transcript

Dinosaur: I don't own a smartphone. I use a flip phone because it does everything I want. Alice: Why are you proud of being a big, dumb dinosaur with a terrible phone? Dinosaur: I"m sensing a lot of judgement in that question. Alice: Wait until you hear my follow-ups.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #feedback, #managers, #managers & supervisors, #performance, #appreciate, #feel valued, #belittle, #indirect, #slow and isorganized, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Would you like some feedback on your performance? Dilbert: No. Boss: You're supposed to appreciate feedback because it makes you feel valued. Dilbert: How does listening to you belittle me about things you don't understand make me feel valued? Boss: Well, I don't know. It must be an indirect thing. Maybe we should just try it and see how it feels. Dilbert: Whatever. Boss: I don't actually watch you work, so I'm mostly guessing about the things you do wrong. I accuse you of being slow and disorganized! Is it working yet? Dilbert: Yes. If that makes you go away.

Ted Retires And Dies Same Day

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Retires And Dies Same Day - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #death, #managers, #retirement, #conincidence, #luck, #retired, #dropped dead, #overworked, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Ted retired yesterday and dropped dead this morning. You worked him to death with perfect timing. Nicely done/ Unless it was just a coincidence. Boss: If I'm being honest, hitting the exact day was just luck.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phones, #distraction, #frustration, #multitasking, #phone, #smart phones, #playing, #karma, #wishing death

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I would like to thank each of you for playing with your phones and not listening to a word I said all meeting. I hope karma is a real thing and frozen lavatory debris from airplanes kills each of you. Alice: What was he going on about? Wally: Beats me. I'm not much of a multitasker.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #artificial intelligence, #feelings, #nonverbal communication, #robots, #novelty, #read faces, #admiration, #arousal, #bacon, #differnces, #human vs. robot

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Robots are a clever novelty, but they will never be intelligent like humans. Dilbert: What would be an example of something your brain can do that a robot can't imitate? Boss: Well, for example, I can tell when a movie is good. Dilbert: If that were intelligence, all smart people would like the same movies. Boss: Well, I can also read human faces to know what people are feeling. Dilbert: What am I feeling right now? Boss: I'm picking up a mixture of admiration, arousal, and thoughts of bacon. Dilbert: Don't get cocky, but you won this round.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #answers, #deception, #questioning, #questions, #reorganization, #deceptive weasel, #guilt, #employee, #employer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I heard a rumor of a reorganization. Is it true? Boss: Who told you that? Dilbert: Answering a question with a question means yes. Boss: Are you accusing me of being a deceptive weasel? Dilbert: Why would you ask that?

Zig Zag

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Zig Zag - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #insubordination, #leadership, #zigzag, #insanity, #fired

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The secret to being a great leader is to zig when others zag. Dilbert: Coincidentally, that is the same strategy used by the insane. CEO: I should fire you for your insubordination. Dilbert: Or you could zig.