Engineers Comic Strips - Page 20
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216 Results for Engineers
View 191 - 200 results for engineers comic strips. Discover the best "Engineers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday October 02,
1993
Tags restaurant, Dilbert, woman, waiter, dating
Transcript
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, ". . . So I knew it was either a layer three protocol error or else it was time to recalibrate the scope." Dilbert continues, "Ha ha! I'll avoid the obvious pun about D-channel packet addressing!" The waiter wrestles with the woman for her knife. Dilbert says, "I don't think she's done with her knife." The waiter says, "I know. I lost three engineers this way."
Wednesday September 08,
1993
Tags Dilbert, Wally, ted, business project, business meeting
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table with a man from marketing. The man says, "You engineers have done NOTHING on my project. You just keep saying I haven't given you sufficient requirements!" The man throws his arms up in frustration and says, "I don't know what else you need and you won't tell me what you need!! Is this just your way of avoiding work??!" Wally replies, "I'll bet you regret choosing marketing as a career path." Dilbert adds, "It looks like a lot of work."
Monday June 28,
1993
Tags Dilbert, alice, Wally, patent, scent
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dilbert thinks, "My patent application is complete. Soon the other engineers will come sniffing around." Dilbert thinks, "They are attracted by the scent of success. They want their names on my patent." Wally, Alice and Ted peer into Dilbert's cubicle. Alice says to Wally and Ted, "The scent CAN'T be coming from here." Ted says, "We may be getting a false positive from his baloney sandwich." They all sniff the air.
Saturday May 29,
1993
Tags Dogbert, school, system, failure, park bench, preparing, scientist, engineers, economy, instead, janitors, maids
Transcript
Dogbert sits on a park bench with a woman and a little boy. The woman says, "Our school system is a complete failure, Dogbert." Dogbert asks, "Why's that?" The woman replies, "The schools should be preparing these kids to be scientists and engineers. That's the only way our economy will prosper." The woman continues, "Instead, we'll be a nation of maids and janitors." Dogbert replies, "Yeah, but think how clean it will be."
Wednesday May 12,
1993
Tags Dilbert, engineers, shun, assigned, budget, pounce, moment, hypothetical, electricity, alice, Wally
Transcript
Dilbert thinks, "The other engineers shun me because I'm assigned to work on the budget." Wally covers his eyes as he walks by Dilbert and thinks, "Shun." Dilbert walks down the hall thinking, "They know I could pounce any moment and asks inane hypothetical budget questions." A man covers his eyes and thinks, "Shun." Dilbert asks a woman, "What if you only had half as much electricity next year?" The woman covers her eyes and says, "Too late. I shunned you."
Monday May 10,
1993
Tags Dilbert, the boss, susan, department, budget, together, branded, life, engineers, spit, guard, raincoat
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to help Susan put the department budget together." Dilbert's tie stands up and he says, "Budget?!" Dilbert begs, "No, please! I'll be branded for life. The other engineers will spit on me." The Boss thinks, "Darn, his guard is up." Dilbert covers his eyes and says, "I'll have to wear a raincoat to work!"
Friday April 23,
1993
Tags Dilbert, class, career, options, engineer, retire, major, catastrophe, consultants, project, teams, real, crush, marketing, donuts
Transcript
Dilbert says to a classroom of children, "The goal of every engineer is to retire without getting blamed for a major catastrophe." Dilbert continues, "Engineers prefer to work as 'consultants' on project teams. That way there's no real work, blame is spread across the group, and you can crush any idea from marketing!" Dilbert continues, ". . . And sometimes you get free donuts just for showing up!" The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom."
Thursday April 22,
1993
Tags Dilbert, class, career, social, life, engineer, bonanza, ladies, field, video games, devices, non-engineer
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of a classroom of children saying, "And don't forget the social life that comes with being an engineer." Dilbert continues, "Ninety percent of all engineers are guys, so it's a bonanza of dating opportunities for the ladies who enter the field." Dilbert continues, "For the men, there are these little video game devices . . ." A little girl raises her hand and asks, "Would I be allowed to date a non-engineer?"
Sunday April 11,
1993
Tags alice, artificial, band, creatures, Dogbert, dominant, dominants, engineers, envelopes, females, gray, groom, mist, native, note, the boss, vegetation
Transcript
Dogbert's journal entry says, "A small band of the creatures were known to live high in an artificial structure." The panel shows an office building. Dogbert's journal says, "On my way to study them I took note of the native vegetation." Dogbert stands in an office wearing a backpack. He feels a potted plant and thinks, "Rented." His journal says, "The younger males were at play. They became self-conscious when watched." Dogbert watches a man playing computer games. Dogbert's journal says, "The dominant male had a gray back. He controlled the others by waving little envelopes." The Boss waves paychecks at the employees and they bow to him. Dogbert's journal says, "There were few females in the group. The less dominant males had no chance of mating." Dilbert and Wally watch a woman walk past them. Dogbert's journal syas, "Unlike other species they head no instinct for grooming." A man asks, "Want to groom?" Wally replies, "Drop dead." The journal says, "My time was up, but I will miss them, those . . ." Dogbert walks toward the elevator. The journal concludes, "Engineers in the mist." Wally asks Dilbert, "How long are you supposed to microwave popcorn?"
Friday April 09,
1993
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, speech, society, engineers, imagining, audience, naked, pictured, bed, mirror
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror tying his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed. Dilbert says, "I have to give a speech to the 'Society of Engineers' today . . . I'm a bit nervous." Dogbert replies, "Sometimes you can relax by imagining the audience is naked." Dogbert's ears stand straight up and he says, "Whoa! Cancel that. I just pictured four hundred naked engineers." Dilbert's tie crumples and he says, "Too late."


