Hiring Engineers Comic Strips - Page 20

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

284 Results for Hiring Engineers

View 191 - 200 results for hiring engineers comic strips. Discover the best "Hiring Engineers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new employees, #sophie, #engineer, #incompetent husband, #agree to relocate, #talent, #addition, #squirrel heads, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss pokes his head into Dilbert's cubicle and says to Dilbert: "Dilbert, come meet the two new employees." The boss introduces Dilbert to the new employee and they both extend their hands to shake. The boss says: "This is Sophie, one of the best engineers in the business." Dilbert thinks: "the drawing of a heart" The boss points to the other new employee and says: "The other one is her imcompetent husband." The boss stands between the two new employess and says: "We had to hire him so Sophie would agree to relocate." The husband says to the boss: "Are you saying I didn't get hired for my talent." Sophie says to her husband: "You don't have any talent, honey" The husband answers: "Oh, that's right." The boss stands with his back to the husband and says to Dilbert: "Dilbert, your job is to do his job in addition to your own." Dilbert is sitting at his computer with Sophie's husband to his side. The husband says: "Do you want to see my collection of squirrel heads?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #training, #engineer, #any training, #engineers boss, #unskilled labor, #without labor, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice and Tina sit at a table as Tina takes notes. Alice says, "It takes years of training to be an engineer." Alice says, "But you don't need any training whatsoever to be an engineer's boss." Alice says, "It's unskilled labor without the labor." Tina says, "I could do that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tina tech writer, #downsized, #merger, #experiment, #bleed like engineers, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Tina the tech writer." Tina says to The Boss, "Why must the tech writers be down-sized after the merger?" Tina says, "If you prick us, do we not bleed like engineers?" The Boss says to Dilbert in front of Tina, "What kind of experiment?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #merging, #porcess, #engineers, #merger, #tech writers

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Tina and Wally sit in conference. The Boss says, "We'll be destroying another healthy company via a process we call merging." The Boss says, "No engineers will be down-sized after merger." The Boss says to Tina, "And tech writers..." Tina says, "Yes?!" The Boss says, "Should write that down."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mother, #phone call, #get joke, #realizations, #actual life, #no joke, #office, #life as intern, #engineers, #smart kid, #inidan kid, #educated, #smart, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok is on the phone at his computer. ASok says, "Hello, mother. I called to tell you I get your joke." ASok says, "You don't know what I'm talking about? Ha ha! You're really playing this one all the way." Asok sits at a table as Dilbert and Wally eat lunch. Asok looks shocked and says, "It turns out this is my actual life." Wally says, "It's the good part."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #promote, #from within, #yanking your chain, #hiring from outside, #you're so smart

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption:"Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert sits at a desk across from Asok. Catbert says, "We like to promote from within the company Asok." Catbert says, "But what we like even more is yanking your chain and the hiring from outside!" Catbert say, "Explain why you work here if you're so smart." Asok says, "I'm timid."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #free tissues, #engineers, #tissue, #secretary, #desk, #box

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands by Carol's desk where a box of tissues sit. Dilbert says, "May I have a tissue?" Carol says, "NO!" Carols says, "Why should the low-paid secretary provide free tissues to engineers?" Wally walks by and says, "Hey, free tissues!" Carol clenches her fists and says, "Gaaa!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #few upgrades to design, #realize engineer, #graduate of liberal arts, #college, #broad exposure, #modern renaissance, #timing circuit, #moby dick, #charles dickens, #engineering classes, #poor engineers, #work is small, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss hands Alice a piece of paper. He says, "I made a few upgrades to your design, Alice." Alice turns and says, "Do you realize you're not an engineer?" The Boss replies, "I'm better! I'm a well-rounded graduate of a liberal arts college." The Boss continues, "The broad exposure to diverse topics made me what I am today." The Boss says, "A modern renaissance man." Alice says, "You scribbled out my timing circuit and wrote in 'Moby Dick by Charles Dickens.'" The Boss says, "Exactly! I'll bet you didn't learn THAT in your engineering classes." The Boss walks away and thinks, "Poor engineers; there world is so small."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chest pains, #my heart, #anti gravity belt, #invented, #cpr, #engineers say

View Transcript

Transcript

Man that looks like Mordac sits between Dilbert and Ted. Mordac says, "Chest pains.... My heart.." Mordac says, "I invented a antigravity belt but it's hidden!" Mordac keels over, his feet wave in the air. Ted says, "Do you think it's true?" Dilbert says, "It's what engineers says to increase the odds of getting CPR."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project budget code, #switching, #code for bald engineers

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally walks by Carol's cubicle. Carol says, "Wally, what's your project budget code?" Wally says, "E473" Carol says, "I'm switching you to E947, effective immediatly." Wally says, "Why?" Carol says, "That's my new code for bald engineers." Wally says, "It will grow back."