New Product Comic Strips - Page 20
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1000 Results for New Product
View 191 - 200 results for new product comic strips. Discover the best "New Product" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday April 15,
2017
Bug In The Platform
Tags work ethic, excuse, laziness, proof
Transcript
Boss: Did you add the new feature yet? Wally: No, I had to fix a critical bug in the platform first. Boss: I have no way to verify that claim. Wally: That's why it's a good one.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday March 23,
2017
Wally's Invention Is The Best Seller Ever
Tags success, Promotion, management, work, laziness
Transcript
Boss: The product you accidentally invented is our biggest seller in company history. So I'm promoting you to a leadership position. Wally: Phew! I thought you were going to make me work.
Sunday March 19,
2017
Tags communication, mumbling, speech, understanding
Transcript
Dilbert: What's the URL for the test site? Boss: Ask Amy. Dilbert; Amy is a mumbler. I can't understand a word she says. Boss; Just ask her to speak up. Dilbert: I've tried that. All she does is mumble louder. And whenever I ask her a question by email, she answers the wrong question. If the only person who knows the URL for the test site is Amy, we probably need to build a new site and tell someone else the URL. Amy might be the most useless employee in the entire company. Wally: Can you teach me to mumble? Amy: Mumble, mumble, mumble. Narrator: Get your own system.
Thursday March 09,
2017
No Texting At Work
Tags politeness, etiquette, company policy, communication, distraction, social media, conversation, interaction, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: The company's new politeness policy forbids you from texting while I am trying to talk to you. Alice: I'm not using a texting app. I'm replying to people on social media. Dilbert: You're missing the point. Alice: When did my happiness stop being the point?
Wednesday March 08,
2017
Honest Opinion But Polite
Tags criticism, political correctness, politically correct, company policy, honesty
Transcript
Dilbert: Our new politeness policy forbids me from giving you an honest opinion of your idea. So, instead, I will talk about an unrelated topic and you can draw your own conclusions. So... did you hear about the manure fire that burned down a pig farm?
Tuesday March 07,
2017
Tina Won't Stop Talking
Tags conversation, company policy, politeness, etiquette, time, talking
Transcript
Dilbert: Our new politeness policy is having unintended consequences. I just spent four hours listening to Tina talk about hear health problems because the company says it is rude to just walk away. Wally: How did you escape? Dilbert: She had a health problem. I got lucky.
Monday March 06,
2017
No Walking Away
Tags human resources, policy, conversation, ideas, management, strategy, politeness, etiquette, business
Transcript
Boss: The company has a new politeness policy. It is no longer acceptable to turn and walk away while a co-worker is in the middle of telling you something. Dilbert: That will add months to my project. Alice: I'm selling all of my company stock.
Thursday February 23,
2017
Alice And The Legacy System
Tags dedication, work ethic, boredom, overwork, time
Transcript
Alice: Does it bother you to work on the old legacy system when the rest of us are doing exciting new things? Wally: I leave work at 4 p.m. every day. Wally: How about you? Alice: Squatters keep moving into my house.
Wednesday February 22,
2017
How Long For New Feature
Tags laziness, excuse, legacy, deception, engineer, programmer, engineering
Transcript
Tina: How long would it take to add that feature to the legacy system? Wally: That depends. When will the new system replace the legacy system? Tina: In six months. Wally: The new feature would take seven months.
Tuesday February 21,
2017
Add Feature To Legacy System
Tags legacy, development, change, obstinacy, engineers, stalemate
Transcript
Man: Wally, I need you to add a feature to the legacy system while we wait for the new software to go live. Wally: My job is to prevent people such as you from adding features to our legacy system. Man: But it's my job to make you do it. Wally: One of us has a terrible job.


