Self Respect Comic Strips - Page 20

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204 Results for Self Respect

View 191 - 200 results for self respect comic strips. Discover the best "Self Respect" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #aspiring, #gas, #station, #transferred, #career, #congress, #fotomat

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Dogbert stands in front of several men and says, "Welcome to Dogbert's School for aspiring Self-Service Gas Station Attendants." Dogbert continues, "I will teach you how to sit in a little building and do nothing." Dogbert continues, "These same skills can be transferred to a career in Congress or Fotomat." A student says, "Really? Fotomat?!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #armchair, #students, #attendants, #gas, #station

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I've decided to open a vocational training school." Dilbert asks, "For whom?" Dogbert replies, "Self-service gas station attendants." Dilbert asks, "You mean, students will pay you to teach them how to sit and do nothing?" Dogbert replies, "It makes you wonder why nobody is already doing it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #service, #include, #squeege, #glasses, #shirt, #full service

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Dilbert walks into "Jiffy Med Center" with a sore arm. The nurse says to Dilbert, "Do you want self service or the full service?" Dilbert answers, "Uh . . . full." Dilbert asks a man with a stethoscope, "What does full service include?" The man answers, "We squeegee your glasses and check under your shirt."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #talk, #respect, #intangible, #body language, #victory, #workers

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Dilbert sits at his desk thinking, "The worst he can do is fire me . . ." Dilbert says, "Boss, I need to talk to you." Dilbert continues, "I feel you don't respect me . . ." Dilbert continues, "It's an intangible thing . . ." The Boss thinks, "Sneeze coming . . ." Dilbert continues, "I see it in your body language . . ." The Boss grabs Dilbert's shirt. Dilbert continues, ". . . And sometimes the things you say . . ." The Boss rips Dilbert's shirt off his body. The Boss sneezes and uses Dilbert's shirt as a handkerchief. Dilbert sits at his desk without a shirt. He says, "This has been something less than a victory for workers everywhere."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #lab rat, #professor, #indifidual, #respect, #escaped, #laboratory, #individual

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Lab Rat: I wasn't getting any respect at the lab... I felt used. Sure... The food was good-and lots of it... But I don't think the professor valued me as an individual. And a rat without respect is like... Like... Dogbert: Like you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #secretary, #department, #image, #problem, #crush, #paper clip, #Dogbert

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A man asks Dilbert, "How's the new secretary for the department working out?" Dilbert replies, "I think he's having a self-image problem." The secretary sits at his desk and says, "Sure, I'm a secretary, but watch me crush this paper clip!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #secretary, #temporarily, #paid, #performing, #duties, #author, #jazz, #pianist, #thespian, #psychology, #gourmet chef

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Dilbert stands in front of a man's desk and says, "Hi. You must be the new secretary." The man replies, "Well, yes and no . . ." The man explains, "Granted, I'm temporarily being paid for performing secretary-like duties. But I'm really an author, a jazz pianist and a thespian. I have a Ph.D. in Psychology." Dilbert says, "Sounds like a little crisis with the ol' self-image." The man adds, "And a gourmet chef . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 1990's comic on:


Tags #sonic, #obliterator, #buffalo, #buffaloes, #application, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #nanosecond

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Dilbert sits at his desk holding a device that looks like a gun. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "This could be my most important technical achievement yet. I'll call it the 'Sonic Obliterator.' Hmm . . . Catchy." Dilbert explains, "This baby can blast a buffalo into random particles in about half a nanosecond." Dilbert continues, "Of course, it might have limited application around the house." Dogbert says, "At least the buffalos will show us some respect."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #Frank, #eddy, #self-esteem, #damaged, #immune system

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Dilbert and Dogbert walk down the sidewalk. A man walking in the other direction says, "Hi, Dilbert." Dilbert says, "Hi, Frank." The man says, "My name is Eddy, not Frank." Dilbert replies, "Oh . . . Right. Sorry, Eddy." Dilbert thinks, "This is so embarrassing." Eddy says, "Forgetting somebody's name is the worst insult in the world." Eddy continues, "Now my self-esteem has been damaged. My job performance will drop accordingly, and I'll be fired." Eddy shivers and says, "The stress is starting to affect my immune system. I'm getting a cold." Dogbert holds out his paw and says, "I'm Dogbert. Nice to meet you, Frank."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #terrarium, #failure, #weather, #patterns, #climatic, #experiment

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Dilbert leans over a table looking at a glass container. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "My terrarium experiment is a failure." Dilbert continues, "By now it should have started its own self-contained weather patterns." Dilbert continues, "After all this waiting, it's just so . . . so . . ." Dogbert asks, "Anti-climatic?"