Technology Comic Strips - Page 20

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803 Results for Technology

View 191 - 200 results for technology comic strips. Discover the best "Technology" comics from Dilbert.com.

Reading Faces

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Reading Faces - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, meeting, corrupt, communists, technology, proposal, reading faces

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co-worker: i can't support this project because you're all a bunch of corrupt, godless communists. dilbert: just out of curiosity, where did you get your education? co-worker: i learned everything i need to know on social media. dilbert: how does that help you evaluate a technical proposal? co-worker: it's simple. i take one look at all of your faces, and i know everything i need to know. co-worker looking at wally: i mean, look at this guy's face. he's obviously a grifter. wally: lucky guess. co-worker looking at alice: this one obviously has anger issues. dilbert: i demand a larger sample size! co-worker: whatever geek face.

Expecting Excellence

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 Expecting Excellence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, happiness, expectations, coffee, dysfunction, excellence

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wally: asok, he key to happiness is lowering your expectations. for example, all i expect from work today is twelve cups of coffee and a humorous display of corporate dysfunction. asok: that sounds sad. wally: try expecting excellence and see how that works for you.

Alice And Blockchain

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 Alice And Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, project, learn, skills

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alice: i'd like to help on the blockchain project to build my skills in that area. boss: i don't like it when people learn new things. alice: i don't know what to say to that. boss: oh, good. it worked.

Wally Not Working

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 Wally Not Working - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, employment, managers & supervisors, office workers, technology, work ethic, micro-managing

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boss: you don't seem to be working. wally: i don't want to start something new because it's almost the end of my work day. boss: it's ten o'clock in the morning. wally: and here comes the micro-managing.

Buy An Adapter

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Buy An Adapter - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sarcasm, stupidity, technology, Dilbert, business, network, adapter

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dilbert: the hardware you ordered is not compatible with our network. boss: just buy an adapter. dilbert: i don't think anyone makes an adapter that can fix stupidity.

Upgrade Schedule

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Upgrade Schedule - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, vendor, network, upgrade, allocating, technology

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vendor: we should be able to finish the network upgrade in about three months. dilbert: when you bid for the job. you said it would take thirty days. vendor: if we're allocating blame. i'm not the one who was dumb enough to believe me.

Who Is The Fool

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Who Is The Fool - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, install, server, upgrade, fool, lie, technology

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vendor: we can't finish the installation unless you buy our server upgrade. dilbert: that means you lied when you bid for the job, because you did not include a server upgrade. vendor: who's the fool now? dilbert: that would be me.

Alice Would Complain

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Alice Would Complain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complain, managers & supervisors, assignment, business, technology, problem, solve

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boss: i was going to give this assignment to alice, but i know she would complain about it. dilbert reading paper: i don't want it either. boss: do you plan to complain about it later? dilbert: not to your face. boss: problem solved.

Donating To Politicians

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Donating To Politicians - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, Politics, government, campaign, bribe, faith, drones, guns, sarcasm

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dilbert, boss and alice at table boss: i donated to a few campaigns, and coincidentally a law changed that i wanted changed. now it's legal for us to sell drones that are armed with machine guns. dilbert: i've never had less faith in my government. boss: i also got us a tax break.

Illegal To Sell Armed Drones

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Illegal To Sell Armed Drones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags illegal, armed, drones, private, citizens, sell, business, technology, bribe, law

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boss: i just learned it's illegal to sell armed drones to private citizens. how many orders did we get since we started selling them this morning? dilbert: seventy million. boss: i'll look into bribing someone to change the law.