Upgrade Later Comic Strips - Page 20
282 Results for Upgrade Later
View 191 - 200 results for upgrade later comic strips. Discover the best "Upgrade Later" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share May 04, 2001's comic on:
The Boss sees Alice at her desk and asks, "Why are our software expenses higher than marketing's software expenses?" Alice replies, "For the same reason monkey's don't wear watches." Caption reads: "One hour later." The Boss returns and asks, "Does it involve fur in any way?"
Share December 24, 2000's comic on:
In the kitchen, Dilbert says to his mother, "I've been thinking about your birthday, Mom." His mother says, "How sweet." Dilbert says to his mother, "It seems so inefficient to wrap up your present." As they carry milk and cookies out of the kitchen, Dilbert says to his mother, "You'll just rip up the wrapping paper an hour later." As his mother sets the cookies down, Dilbert says to her, "So I was thinking of throwing a towel over it instead." Dilbert says to his mother, "You'd get all of the element of surprise without wasting paper." Dilbert says to his mother, "Maybe I can use one of your towels so I don't have to lug one from my house." Dilbert's mom says, "Of course, dear. I wouldn't want you to lug a big heavy towel just for me." Dilbert reaches for a cookie and says, "Good. It's settled." His mother says to him, "Those aren't for you."
Share December 03, 2000's comic on:
Wally says to The Boss, "I'd like to work flex time." Wally says, "I'll work for five hours before anyone else gets to the office..." Wally says to The Boss, "Then I'll take a break for ten hours..." Wally says, "Then I'll work five more hours after the witnesses... er... co-workers go home." Wally says, "You'll know I'm working hard because my cubicle will be filthy." Wally says, "But I have to be perfectly honest: There's a down side to this plan." Wally says to The Boss, "I would miss your staff meetings that I cherish so much." Wally says to Dilbert, "I'm having trouble keeping my clever schemes separate from my sarcasm."
Share November 19, 2000's comic on:
Dogbert, busily typing, says to Dilbert, "I'm writing a business book called 'Change Happens. Get Over It'." Dilbert says, "The title says it all." Dogbert says, "Yeah. It needs filler." Dilbert says, "How about a parable?" Dogbert says, "Good idea." Dogbert types, "Two bulls were talking." Dogbert continues typing, "One bull says, 'I'm afraid of change'." Dogbert continues typing, "The other bull says, 'Get over it'." Dogbert continues typing, "Later that day they were both ground into hamburgers and served at a picnic." Dogbert says to Dilbert, "The hard part will be finding someone to write the foreword."
Share August 22, 2000's comic on:
Catbert the Evil HR Director says to the staff, "Employees waste too much time at funerals." Catbert continues, "On a related note, our heating costs are too high." Later at home, Dilert's mother says to Dilbert, "As a matter of fact, I would mind being cremated in the company furnace."
Share June 11, 2000's comic on:
The Boss says to Dilbert, "I cut your budget in half." Dilbert replies, "How can I do a technology installation without an adequate budget?!" The Boss says, "Try being unethical with our vendors." Dilbert answers, "What?" The Boss replies, "It's easy." The Boss continues, "Tell them we might make a huge purchase. Later..." The Boss goes on to say, "...If they give us a bunch of free stuff now." The Boss says to Dilbert, "If it makes you feel better, wait until they lie first." The vendor representative says to Dilbert, "And there are no hidden costs." Dilbert says to the representative, "Um...we might make a huge purchase later."
Share June 06, 2000's comic on:
The Boss says to Ming, "Ming, I'm moving your web mistress function to I.S. You'll report to Mordac." Ming screams out, "NO-O-O-O-O" The Boss looks astonished. Ming later says to Mordac, "We can still date but I feel obliged to hate your guts now." Mordac replies, "It works for me."
Share May 25, 2000's comic on:
The caption reads: "CEO as Spokesperson." The CEO is seen leaning over a chair seductively with her hair tossed to one side. Dogbert stands behind the camera and she asks, "What does this pose have to do with our product?" Dogbert answers, "I'll use blue screen technology to add important elements later." The CEO says, "My blouse is blue." A voluptuous woman stands in towel behind Dogbert. Dogbert turns to her and says, "Five minutes."
Share April 01, 2000's comic on:
The Boss tells Wally: "I want you to perform a Gap Analysis for our department." He continues: "Be completely honest." Later, Wally reports: "The Gap is located between two pointy tufts of hair that move about the office."
Share March 18, 2000's comic on:
Asok reports at a meeting: "I performed many tasks, but I can not claim any accomplishments." He continues: "Because things might have turned out better had I never been born." He turns to Dilbert: "Technically, it's true." Dilbert tells Asok: "Remind me to slap you later."