2002 Comic Strips - Page 20
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Character
Monday June 24,
2002
Tags roboboss, good work, compliments employees, shallow compliment, feel good, high five
Transcript
Roboboss says to Alice, "I am Roboboss. You are a valuable asset. Keep up the good work." Alice replies, "That is the most shallow compliment I have ever heard. But it still made me feel good." Alice continues, "So.. Are you seeing anyone?" Roboboss replies, "High five!"
Sunday June 23,
2002
Tags interview, long story, bank story, argued, admit mistake, landmark court case, bank claims, dumb guy, fit in
Transcript
The Boss is with another man and introduces him to Dilbert. The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to interview Matt for our department." Dilbert asks Matt, "There's a three-year gap in your work history. What were you doing?" Matt replies, "One day I was balancing my checkbook and noticed a bank error." Matt continues, "So I embarked on a three-year mission to make the bank admit its mistake!" Matt continues, "I worked the phones day and night, rarely eating or bathing." Matt continues, "Then came the sit-ins, the media frenzy and the landmark court case." Matt exclaims, "The bank claimed that seven minus four is three. And I'm like, 'Since when?'" After the interview, The Boss asks Dilbert, "Would he fit in?" Dilbert replies, "Unfortunately, yes."
Saturday June 22,
2002
Tags cell phone, one ear, email, instant message, pager, messages, boss comes in, work stories, technology
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting on the couch. Dilbert says, "I had my cell phone at one ear and my regular phone at the other." Dilbert continues, "I'm reading e-mail, sending instant messages, my pager is vibrating, and my boss comes in!" Dogbert says, "You know what makes your work stories fascinating?" Dilbert asks. "What?" Dogbert continues, "Nothing."
Friday June 21,
2002
Tags accounting records, congress, erasing memories, impenetrable complications, management, outside firm, project team, hit head, hammer on head, knocked on head, Politics
Transcript
Dilbert points to a slide and says, "As requested, my project team has added impenetrable complications to our accounting records." Dilbert says to The Boss, "And an outside firm is erasing all memories from senior management." The Boss asks, "How do they do that?" Dogbert holds a hammer. He says to a manager with a huge bump on his head, "Okay, you're ready to talk to congress." The injured manager replies, "Thank you."
Thursday June 20,
2002
Tags accounting system, less transparent, investors, bad people, corrupt corporate culture
Transcript
Dilbert, the troll, and Asok are meeting. Dilbert says, "Our assignment is to make our accounting system less transparent." Asok asks, "What?" Dilbert turns to Asok and says, "We don't want investors to know what we're doing." Asok asks, "Are we bad people?" Dilbert responds, "We're good people who have been influenced by a corrupt corporate culture." Asok says, "Oh, okay. Carry on."
Wednesday June 19,
2002
Tags accounting system, accounting troll, groupies, worse place, finance troll, project
Transcript
Dilbert says to an accounting troll, "I need you to be a subject matter expert on my accounting system project." The troll asks, "Will it make the world a worse place to live?" Dilbert replies, "I think so." The troll continues, "I'm in." Dilbert asks, "What's it like to be an accounting troll?" The troll responds, "To be honest, I'm only in it for the groupies."
Tuesday June 18,
2002
Tags ethical, accounting records, massive shortsell, wrong one
Transcript
Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "My boss ordered me to make our accounting records more confusing. Is that ethical?" Dogbert responds, "It's as ethical as the massive short-sell I'm going to place in the next ten seconds." Dilbert says, "Maybe you're the wrong one to ask." Dogbert yells into his phone, "NOW! NOW!"
Monday June 17,
2002
Tags accounting gimmicks, accounting records, destroy records, illegal, make confusing, stockholders
Transcript
Dilbert says to The Boss, "Stockholders are worried that our profits are nothing but accounting gimmicks." The Boss responds, "I'm putting you in charge of destroying all of our accounting records." Dilbert says, "That's illegal." The Boss responds, "Oh. Then just make them more confusing."
Sunday June 16,
2002
Tags the master, overworked, carefree, powerful secret, volunteer, many tasks, complaints later, gandhi that eats, dont recall, agree
Transcript
Wally is asleep in his cubicle. Asok enters and says, "Wally, I need advice from the master." Wally wakes up and says, "Huh?" Asok says, "How do you remain so carefree while everyone else seems so overworked?" Wally replies, "Asok, you are ready to learn my most powerful secret." Wally continues, "Always volunteer to do lots of tasks. That will make you appear very busy." Wally continues, "Later, when someone complains that you didn't do a task..." Wally continues, "Say you remember discussing the topic but you don't recall agreeing to do anything." Wally continues, "Offer a glimmer of hope that you might yet do the task if no one yells at you... Then repeat." Asok replies, "Wow." Asok walks away and thinks, "He's like a Gandhi that eats."
Saturday June 15,
2002
Tags roboboss, trivial task, insulted, mange with machine, plywoodboss, handle it
Transcript
The Boss introduces a robot to Dilbert, "This is Roboboss. He'll handle all of my trivial tasks." Dilbert responds, "I'm totally insulted that you think you can manage us with a machine!" The Boss turns to Roboboss and says, "Handle that." Roboboss responds, "I'll delegate it to my assistant, Plywood Boss."

