Achieve Full Ptential Comic Strips - Page 20

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

201 Results for Achieve Full Ptential

View 191 - 200 results for achieve full ptential comic strips. Discover the best "Achieve Full Ptential" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ricky Joins The Ai Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ricky Joins The Ai Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #recommendation, #artificial intelligence, #lowers bar, #human intelligence, #artificial, #honored, #too nice

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I recommend Ricky to our artificial intelligence project. He lowers the bar on what constitutes human intelligence, so it will be easier for us to achieve the artificial kind. I would be honored to work on the project, The boss: Okay, I see what you mean.

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Wally, #goals, #employees, #accomplishing

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Did you achieve your goals this quarter? Wally: I sure did! Best quarter ever! The Boss: Really? I wasn't expecting that. Wally: What kind of manager has no faith in his employees? You need to trust me to do what needs to be done. The Boss: Um, okay, so... Which goals did you accomplish? Wally: You also need to trust your employees when they say they accomplished their goals. The Boss: I think I see where this is going. Wally: I was hoping you wouldn't.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #google, #data center, #software, #fix, #agile

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I put together a plan for our data center project. The Boss: We don't need a plan we're an agile company. It's better to move fast and fix our mistakes as we go. Dilbert: You're thinking of software. Where the cost of mistakes is low, this is a construction project. The Boss: That data center will be full of software, will it not? Dilbert: Yes, but... The Boss: Don't be afraid of change. Dilbert: What if I rapidly make a plan and tell you I didn't? Is that agile enough for you? The Boss: I'll need to google that.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #angry, #business, #office workers, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you finish the product redesign? Dilbert: You never told me to redesign the product. Boss: I don't want any excuses! Dilbert: You never told me to redesign anything. Boss: Whoa! Leave your pretzel logic at home. You need to learn how to take responsibility for your failures. Dilbert: Okay...I take full responsiblity for you not telling me what you wanted me to do. Boss: You're not doing it right. Dilbert: Should I slap myself while saying it?

Never Ask About The Sigh

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Never Ask About The Sigh - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #relationships, #serial killer

View Transcript

Transcript

carol, asok and dilbert at a conference table. carol: sigh carol: sigh asok: what's wrong? dilbert distressed: gaaaa!!! never ask about the sigh! dilbert: it's a trap to make you listen to a distressing story full of woe. carol: my husband is a hunter and he wants me to learn how to skin and cook his kills. asok: that doesn't sound so bad. dilbert: wait for it. carol: he's a serial killer. dilbert: and there it is.

If You Can Dream

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
If You Can Dream - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #Dilbert, #sleeping, #inspirational quotes, #Wally

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: i'll be sharing one inspirational quote each day. next frame shows outside of office: "if you can dream it, you can achieve it." Wally: zzz-zzzz. dilbert: he's off to a good start.

Filled Bathtub To The Attic

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Filled Bathtub To The Attic - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #bathtub, #home, #weekend, #water, #attic, #chimney

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i forgot i was filling my bathtub and went away for the weekend. now my house is full of water all the way to the attic. i don't know what to do. wally: try putting a hose in the chimney and sucking.

Dilbert Gets A Mentor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Gets A Mentor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #Advice, #mentor, #productivity, #operations, #vice president, #pressure, #trick

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i heard you asked our v.p. of operations to be your mentor. why didn't you tell me you needed some mentoring? i'm full of useful advice. dilbert: such as? boss: well... not you're putting me on the spot. it's hard to think of advice while you're pressuring me. maybe you could give me a scenario, and then i'll tell you what to do. dilbert: okay, suppose my boss is ruining my productivity by yammering about his great advice. what can i do? boss: that feels like a trick question. dilbert: our v.p. of operations could answer it.

Mindless Tasks

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Mindless Tasks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #despondent, #tasks, #mindless

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert thinking: looks like it will be another full day of interacting with people i wouldn't pull out of a burning car even if i were made of asbestos. my only hope is to stay busy doing mindless tasks. dilbert: do you have any mindless tasks for me? boss: take one from the top of the pile.

Boss Is In A High Risk Group

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Is In A High Risk Group - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #health & safety, #office workers, #sarcasm, #virus, #pandemic, #risk

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Are you worried about coronavirus because you're in a high-risk group? Boss: Why would I be in a high-risk group? Carol: Do you own a full-length mirror? Boss: No. They make me look fat.