Actually Hitting Town Comic Strips - Page 20

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

205 Results for Actually Hitting Town

View 191 - 200 results for actually hitting town comic strips. Discover the best "Actually Hitting Town" comics from Dilbert.com.

Asok Is A Narcissist Too

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Is A Narcissist Too - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #situation, #too dumb, #narcissist, #Right, #wrong

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: Dilbert is a total narcissist, He refuses to admit when he'swrong. Asok: How would the situation look any different to you if he's actually right most of the time and you're too dumb to know it? Ted: I don't understand your point. Asok: According to your that makes me a narcissist.

We Need To Talk

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
We Need To Talk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #contradiction, #argument, #disagreement

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The software upgrade will be ready by Friday. Dilbert: Actually, that's when we will start writing it. Boss: And it will save us twenty million dollars. Dilbert: Actually, it will cost a million dollars and save nothing. Boss: We need to talk. Dilbert: We do? I'm not feeling that.

Virtual Reality

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Virtual Reality - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #days, #virtual, #trained, #hospital, #designer, #bed, #lazy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: After spending three great days in virtual reality, I accidentally trained myself to hate actual reality. Wally: What if this reality is actually another virtual reality, and you're really in a hospital bed somewhere? Dilbert: What kind of designer would make a reality with you in it? Wally: A lazy one.

Bitter Losers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bitter Losers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #idea, #lying, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #Promotion

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm promoting Ted for coming up with a genius idea to reduce our software expenses. Dilbert: That was actually my idea. All Ted did was tell you it was his idea. Boss: How do you put up with these bitter losers? Ted: The promotion helps.

Did Not Know About The Server

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Did Not Know About The Server - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #excuses, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: It's been six months now and you still haven't fixed our server issue. Dilbert: I didn't know we had a server issue. Boss: That's no excuse. Dilbert: Actually, it's kind of a good excuse. Boss: Now you're making excuses for your excuses!

Zombie Projects

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Zombie Projects - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #zombie, #sloth, #fail, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: wally, i'm putting you in charge of all the zombie projects that refuse to die. the boss: i'm counting on your sloth and incompetence to finish them off, so management feels comfortable finally canceling them. the boss: as of today, i'm paying you to fail. wally: actually, this is just the first time you're aware of it.

Toxic Employee

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Toxic Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i hired a toxic employee to keep the rest of you on your toes. if you utter one wrong word, this thing will report you to human resources. dilbert: what gender is it? toxic employee: stop hitting on me.

Data Can Only Mean One Thing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Data Can Only Mean One Thing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #sarcasm, #data, #analyze

View Transcript

Transcript

ted: this data can mean only one thing. dilbert: actually, it can mean any one of about seventeen things. ted: then why can i think of only one? dilbert: please don't make me answer that.

Low Self Esteem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Low Self Esteem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #sarcasm, #business, #self esteem

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i have low self-esteem, but the other day i was thinking... what if i'm actually great and i just don't know it? dilbert looking at phone: you're not.

Dating In The Age Of Coronavirus

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dating In The Age Of Coronavirus - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #attractive, #contract, #covid-19, #dating, #eyes, #goodnight, #kiss, #lawyers, #mask, #masked, #negotiations, #office workers, #single, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

carol: it must be difficult to be single in the age of covid-19. dilbert: it's not too bad, actually. i'm in contract negotiations with a semi-attractive women i met online. with any luck, i will be enjoying a double-masked goodnight kiss by late next month. that assumes our lawyers don't make too many changes to the contract. carol: did you just say she is only semi-attractive? dilbert: i'm judging from the parts i can see. i don't know what's under the mask and shower cap she wears all day. carol: you must like her eyes. dilbert: i like the one i can see. the other one has a patch.