Asking Out Comic Strips - Page 20

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Asking Out

View 191 - 200 results for asking out comic strips. Discover the best "Asking Out" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cloud, #email, #internet speak, #lingo, #meetings, #pretending, #text, #understanding technology, #wi fi, #skype

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you get the email I texted to you? Co-worker: What? That doesn't even make sense. What the heck is wrong with you? Dilbert: Let it go. He slips in and out of understanding basic technology. Boss: Do we have enough room in the cloud for Skype? Because if we don't, we can store some files on the wi-fi. Dilbert: I got this. We have plenty of space because we upgraded to a cumulonimbus cloud. Boss: Very good. Moving on.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #astronomy, #billions of planets, #scientists, #version of dilbert, #earth like, #many universes

View Transcript

Transcript

Computer: Scientists say there might be billions of planets like Earth. And we might be one of many universes. Dilbert: I wonder if there's a version of me out there who loves his job. Woman: What has three thumbs and wants a should massage? Dilbert: This guy! Meanwhile, on XPKQ-75

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #algorithm, #attraction, #creative men, #creativity is random, #dating, #free will, #humans, #illusion, #moist robots, #parties, #shop around, #short term relationsips, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Okay, what's going on here? Dilbert: I'm creative. Studies show that women prefer creative men for short-term relationships. Woman: That plant is random, not creative. Dilbert: Creativity is random. If creativity were anything but random, someone would have figured out the algorithm by now. I notice that your pupils are dilating. That's a sign of attraction. My plan is working. Free will is an illusion. Humans are nothing but moist robots. Just relax and let it happen. Woman: This is weird. I'm actually attracted to you now. Dilbert: Thanks, but I'm going to shop around. Woman: My world no longer makes sense! Dilbert: Walk it off.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lunch date, #not attracted, #technoloigy, #only like tech, #people are creepy, #delivery system, #viruses, #germs, #picture, #photoshop, #people hater

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Wally, do you want to go to lunch? Wally: No, thanks. I"m a digisexual now. Tina: What: Wally: I'm no longer attracted to people. I only like technology. People creep me out. You're basically a delivery system for viruses, germs, and unreasonable favor requests. I'm willing to take a picture of you, but that's as far as I'll go. Tina: This is the most disturbing conversation I've ever had. Wally: Thank goodness for Photoshop.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #twins, #branding, #meeting, #discussion, #brad, #brendan, #identical, #triplets, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: This is Brendan and Brandon. They'll be helping us with our ranking. Alice: Im sorry, but I can't get past the ridiculousness of it all, Im out. The Boss: Do you get this a lot? Brendan & Brandon: Its worse when we bring Brad.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #editors, #document, #bad edits, #wrong religion, #fool

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: I made some edits to your document. Dilbert: These edits are so bad that my only choices are to send it out and make a fool of myself or insult your alleged intelligence. Coworker: Please let it be the first choice. Dilbert: I hope you didn't pick the wrong religion too.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #huge head, #parade float, #pasty skin, #communication, #over rated

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I just noticed you head is huge. Alice: I never noticed it before, but now all I see is a parade float made out of pasty skin. Dilbert: Communication is overrated. Dogbert: I'm feeling that right now.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #barry, #meeting, #meetings, #sharing info, #vendors, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Let's hear what Barry learned from our vendors and go from there. Coworker: I didn't have time to call anyone, but I can speculate about what might have happened if I had. Dilbert: I'm curious to see how this will work out for you. Coworker: None of these vendors would have called me back.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interviewed users, #suggestions, #idiots, #dumb suggestions, #hindsight

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We interviewed hundreds of users and turned all of their suggestions into features. As it turns out, every user we talked to was an idiot, and their dumb suggestions ruined our product. In hindsight, we probably should have talked to people who work outside this building.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #discrimination, #Women, #containment unit, #steel vault, #Men, #co workers, #job, #condesending, #freak out, #death, #business, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Settle down, honey. I didn't ask for your opinion. I'm telling you what we're going to do. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Lower the containment unit! She's going to blow. CEO: When will it be safe? Dilbert: Right after you die.