Away From Scoiety Comic Strips - Page 20

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471 Results for Away From Scoiety

View 191 - 200 results for away from scoiety comic strips. Discover the best "Away From Scoiety" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #magnetism, #domesticated, #creatures

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The caption says, "To the ancients it was known as the 'Time of Degauss.'" Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. The caption says, "Every thousand years, the animal magnetism of domesticated creatures reverses." Dogbert's ears fly up. The caption says, "The result can be catastrophic . . ." Silverware flies out of a drawer and the toaster flies off the shelf. The caption says, ". . . Or dogastrophic." Dogbert runs away from the flying metal objects that are attracted by his magnetism. Dogbert runs through Dilbert's legs. The caption says, "Soon the field stabilizes, and the threat is forgotten." The silverware pins Dilbert to the wall. Dogbert says, "That reminds me - what's for supper tonight?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #earth, #track, #macy's, #credit, #Card, #visa, #mastercard, #chew-toy, #cash, #advance, #netting, #billions, #Lottery, #prize, #bank

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Dogbert walks away from the mailbox holding a letter. He says, "Ha ha ha! My scheme to conquer earth is right on track!" Dilbert sits at a desk working on a device. Dogbert enters the room and announces, "I've been approved for a Macy's credit card!" Dogbert says, "I'll use this credit history to apply for Visa and Mastercard." Dogbert continues, "Soon I'll have credit cards from every bank in the world." Dogbert continues, "Then I'll do a cash advance on every card, netting billions to form a worldwide lottery prize." Dogbert continues, "And everybody who supports me as supreme ruler of earth gets one free lottery ticket." Dilbert says, "You know, most dogs would be delighted just to get a nice chew-toy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #kinder, #trouble, #world, #creatures, #peace, #harmony, #pursues, #retribution, #little, #misdeed, #bygones, #forgive, #forget, #studies, #happier, #less, #stressful, #lives

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a brick wall. Dogbert says, "Sometimes I dream of a kinder world . . ." Dilbert thinks, "Trouble . . ." Dogbert continues, "A world where all creatures live in peace and harmony . . ." Dogbert continues, "Where nobody pursues retribution for some tiny little misdeed." Dilbert thinks, "Big trouble." Dogbert continues, "Where bygones are bygones . . . Forgive and forget . . ." Dilbert shouts, "Stop it! Stop it! Please just tell me what horrible thing you've done!" Dilbert runs away screaming. Dogbert says, "You know, studies have shown that people with pets live happier, less stressful lives."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #hospital, #directions, #drive, #driving, #car, #automobile, #lying, #sarcasm

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Dogbert walks on the sidewalk. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks, "Hey dog! What's the quickest way to go to the hospital?" Dogbert replies, "Drive as fast as you can into that tree." The driver asks, "What's the second quickest way?" Dogbert replies, "Hmm . . . Well, go left, then right, right, left, left, left, right, left, left." The says, "Thanks!" as he drives away. Dogbert thinks, "Actually, I have no idea how to get to the hospital . . ." Dogbert thinks, "But I didn't want him to think I'm a jerk."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 1990's comic on:


Tags #armchair, #computer, #Dilbert, #phone, #pounds, #release, #skiis, #alpine ski machine

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Dilbert sits in his chair watching television. An announcer says, ". . . A revolutionary fitness discovery!" The announcer continues, "Melt pounds away with the 'Alpine Ski Machine.'" The announcer concludes, "No exercise required." Dilbert leaves the chair. Dilbert holds the telephone to his ear as the announcer says, "Dial 1-800 . . ." Dilbert accepts a package delivery. Dilbert stands in a pair of skis. He thinks, "I can't imagine how this melts away the pounds." Dilbert bends over and thinks, "Uh-oh . . . I can't reach the release." Dilbert reaches for the refrigerator but the skis lock his feet in place.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 1991's comic on:


Tags #dog, #Dilbert, #donald trump, #ugly, #single, #male, #associated, #avoid, #eye, #contact, #horror, #maiden, #sacrifice, #drew, #straws, #marry

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The caption says, "It is the most feared and hated creature on earth." The caption says, "Not a dinosaur." Bob the Dinosaur growls. The caption says, "Not a rabid dog." Dogbert asks, "Rabid?" The caption says, "Not Donald Trump." Donald Trump wears a tuxedo. The caption says, "It is the 'ugly single male.'" Dilbert holds his arms out. The caption says, "Other males fear being associated with him." Dilbert says, "Hi, guys!" Two men run away from him. The caption says, "Women avoid eye contact and flee in horror." Dilbert asks, "Anybody free for lunch?" One woman puts her head down and covers her face. Another runs away. The caption says, "Only a maiden sacrifice can end the horror." A woman tells Dilbert, "We drew straws; I have to marry you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 1991's comic on:


Tags #bob, #dinosaur, #Dilbert, #politicians, #elected, #political issues, #electoral college, #truth, #vote, #opposite

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Dogbert sits on the hassock. Bob the Dinosaur enters the room and says, "Question . . ." Dogbert thinks, "Uh-oh." Bob asks, "Why do politicians lie?" Dogbert replies, "To get elected." Bob asks, "Oh, because people believe them?" Dogbert replies, "No, nobody believes them." Bob asks, "Why do they keep lying if nobody believes them?" Dogbert replies, "People wouldn't vote for them if they told the truth." Bob asks, "Okay, so people like lies and dislike the truth?" Dogbert replies, "No, just the opposite." Bob screams and runs away. Dogbert thinks, "A little knowledge is a dangerous thing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #energy, #electricity, #ring, #rechargeable, #battery, #throwing, #burned

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The strip is titled, "How to get free energy." Dilbert faces the reader and says, "The world is full of free energy, if you know where to look." Dilbert continues, "For example, the phone company sends extra electricity to make your phone ring." Dilbert connects a telephone to a large battery. He continues, "You can plug your phone line into a rechargeable battery . . ." Dilbert continues, "Then give suckers a reason to call." Dilbert hangs a poster on a telephone pole. The sign says, "Free money? Call." Dilbert stands in front of a full mailbox. He asks, "And what about junk mail? Are you just throwing it away?" Dilbert asks, "Do you know it can be burned to heat your house?" Dilbert shovels junk mail into a furnace. Dilbert stands at a table and says, "New week I'll tell you how to get electricity from your houseguests." A box of sneezing pepper and a fan connected to a battery sit on the table.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #arms, #Dogbert, #weights, #lifting, #automatically, #muscles, #stick, #latin, #name, #armpits, #straight, #time, #good

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Dilbert holds his arms away from his body. He asks Dogbert, "Notice anything different?" Dogbert replies, "You're holding your arms out like this." Dilbert replies, "I've been lifting weights!" Dilbert continues, "My arms do this automatically because of the muscles." Dogbert asks, "What muscles would make your arms stick out?" Dilbert replies, "Obviously, it's some sort of armpit muscle. I don't know the Latin name." Dilbert puts his arms over his head and says, "I'm going to keep at it until I have huge armpits and I have to keep my arms straight up all the time." Dogbert asks, "Why are you doing this?" Dilbert replies, "I just want to look good."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #introduce, #new employee, #odyssey, #bud, #vice-versa, #week

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The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to introduce the new guy to everybody." Dilbert thinks, "Groan." The Boss walks away thinking, "This way I never have to learn their names." Dilbert tells the new guy, "The first stop on our odyssey is Bud." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . Bud, this is the new guy, and vice versa." The new guy smiles. Bud looks up from the newspaper and says, "What's this?! Another pink-bottomed, Ivy League, management 'trainee'?!" Bud shouts, "In MY day, you had to start at the bottom . . . And by golly, you STAYED there!!" The new guy asks, "How long have you worked here?" Bud replies, "A week . . . This happens pretty quickly."